Love is for Losers
by Eddi Delaney
Summary: Devi and Nny. Not really romantic. Johnny returns from his vacation and goes to get a Brainfreezy with Squee only to see Devi. Lovelylicious and dripping with blood, it's... confusing. Rated T for violence, cussing, & potentially offensive scenes.
1. Return of Johnny

I KNOW I shouldn't start on another story, but I've gotta. I was on DA and I saw this adorable pic of Squee and Nny and I was inspired to write. So write I shall. Devi/Nny, but Squee is hangin' about so nothin's gonna happen as long as he's around. Gets me out of romance situations. THANK YOU LOOPHOLE.

Disclaimer of unadulterated terror: -the Grudge child is talking- Kalilamae owns nothing! -lights flicker and you can hear spooky Grudge sounds-

Warnings: This IS a JtHM fic meaning violence, language, and extremely absurd occurences. If you have read my Naruto fics and don't know what JtHM is... you can still read it.

For my Naruto readers: Things won't make much sense to you, but it may be funnier because you don't know how commonplace this sort of thing is in the series. A bunch of the stuff in this won't even crack a smile from a JtHM fan since it's completely normal to them. The taquito joke in TRB5 is an example; that was normal compared to this stuff. If you are under 13 then don't go looking for JtHM books. This fic is cleaner than the actual thing, mostly because I am not giving you a physical image of these awful things and I don't cuss as much. You probably won't get some of the jokes in this story, but pwease review.

Everyone else review as well. They taste like yum. You know, I think there is a cat food that says that on the back... Kit n' Kaboodle? Yeah. I'm pretty sure that's it. With the kitty's dancing all over it.

...Read now.

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_**A tall thin man sat in the front seat of the gray vehicle. His eyes were fixed into a glare and focused onto the road ahead, barely noticing the small boy in the back of his car.**_

_**"Stupid moose..." he muttered.**_

_**"Um... Mr. Scary Neighbor Man sir?"**_

_**The gangly driver nodded for him to continue, still staring at the asphalt of the road.**_

_**The seven year old was obviously terrified of the man but spoke anyway. "Thank you for driving me to Scool. Usually daddy makes me walk."**_

_**The blue haired man fought to control his anger towards the little boy's father and put on what he wanted to be a reasurring smile but turned out to be more of a manic grin. **_

_**"S'okay Squee. It's not like I have anything else to do anyway."**_

_**"Um... Mr. Neighbor Man... What's wrong with the world?"**_

_**To hear such a question come from the mouth of a first grader was strange to him. **_

_**"Well Squeegee, humans beings are what is wrong with the world. The people in it, what the people do..." his quiet tone of explanation elevated to rage, "WHAT THE PEOPLE SAY!" **_

_**He began yet another psychotic rant, telling the poor child all about the horrible things that people did, which inevitably led to the horrible things that he himself did.**_

_**"And that's what is wrong with the world." snarled the blue haired man a mortified kid as he reached the Scool. "Oh, and have a great day!" **_

**_The wide eyed child nodded and hopped out of the car, a slight smile on his face_**.

Johnny walked slowly up to the door of his pathetic excuse of a house, his hand in pockets and a frown on his face. His journey to rid himself of emotion had failed and now he was back where he started; a rundown building with a huge multi-level basement full of awful things. It was cold in his house. Nothing stopped the winter air save a few flimsy boards, so when he entered the first place he headed were the lower levels of the home.

It was certainly warmer in the basement, but not exactly comfortable. The whole place reeked of blood and rot and was made entirely of concrete. The only places to sit were the various metal devices scattered about, and one would be a fool to sit in a chair with hundreds of needles aimed for one's eyes. Johnny wasn't a fool, just a psychopathic killer. There's a difference between an idiot and a crazy person.

Now that he was cuddled into a hard corner soaked in the blood of a rather unfortunate individual he decided he would pay his little neighbor friend a visit.

Todd Casil slept as fitfully as he always had. Shmee grinned at him from his bedside table, reassuring him that nothing was alright. Todd turned over and groggily woke up to the sound of breaking glass.

"What the..." he started before realizing that someone broke through his window.

_Oh my gosh, someone is in my room! Eeee... who could it be? The ghost girl again? Please don't be a Hellmo doll... _

Johnny noted the room still had it's disturbing wallpaper and that Squee had posted up various drawings including an even more badly drawn Happy Noodle Boy screeching "BERSERK BABIES IN MAH UNDERPANTS ARE EATING MY ANKLES!"

"Hey Squeegee. Whatchadoin'?"

Todd's eyes flew open and stared in horror at the man in his room. It was two AM and Johnny the Homicidal Maniac was standing in his room with shards of glass sticking out of him.

_Gah! Scary Neighbor Man is back! Ooh, what if he wants to kill me? _

"Squee..." he squeed quietly in fear, something he hadn't done as often since Johnny had left.

Johnny nodded. "Mmyep, Squee. Turns out that Mr. Samsa is hard to imitate. I wasted three months on a fickle dream of coldness..." Johnny then muttered darkly to himself, incomprehensible but obviously angry.

"Um. Johnny sir, it's two AM. Do you need anything?" Todd said uneasily.

His anger was destroyed by a suddeny idea. "No. I was just bored. Wanna come buy a brainfreezy with me?"

"Okay." Todd got up and they left his home through the window, even though Squee was still in his pajamas.

They finally walked into the store only for Johnny to see none other than Devi D.

He stared at her all creepy like but she hadn't noticed him yet. Squee on the other hand wondered why Johnny would stare at anyone, much less a girl.

"M-mr. Neighbor Man? What're you looking at?" Todd finally whispered.

"Devi." he said.

At that moment Devi turned around to see the door blocked by Johnny. A little boy who looked to be in first or second grade was standing a little ways off from him.

"OH MY GOD GET AWAY FROM ME YOU FREAK DON'T KILL ME! C'MON KID LETS GO!"

She grabbed Squee and ran like the dickens, whatever THAT means.

Johnny watched as she dashed down the street. He briefly considered chasing her, but after a quick glance to the Brainfreezy machine he changed his mind.

Suddenly a familiar scenario befell him. The machine was not on.

"I need the freezy. Give me the freezy, dammit!" he screeched at the machine.

"Dude, fag, it's been off for hours. We started turning it off again a couple of months ago when the freak that used to come here stopped showing up." the cashier said in a stoned voice.

"Do I need to go through this again? My life is _nothing_ without it!" Johnny said with escalating rage. I think we all know what happens after this. The shooting, attempted suicide, Fizz-Wizz, moral dilemma... yeah. Old news. What would a boyscout do?

Devi however, was distraught. Now she was stuck in her apartment with a seven year old.

"Um, ma'am, could you put me down?"

"Of course, sorry. What were you doing with alone in the 24-7?"

"I wasn't. Mr. Scary Neighbor Man brought me there."

"What?"

"Uh, Mr. Scary Neighbor Man brought me there. My neighbor."

"Your... neighbor?"

"Y-yeh. Scary Neighbor Man. Johnny."

"Johnny C?!"

"Um. Yeah. He a little scary, but he's nice to me."

"Kid, it's not safe to hang around him. He might hurt you!" Devi said, trying not to break it to a kid that his neighbor tried to kill his girlfriend.

"You mean the murdering thing? I know... I try to make him stop it, b-but he thinks he has a good reason. I don't r-really hang out with him though. He kinda just shows up and we sometimes buys me chips or something. He just got back from... somewhere. He wasn't real specific. So he brought me to get a freezy."

"... wait, he kills people?"

"Mm hm."

"I though that was just me... so why were you with him?"

"I told ya. He got back from his 'vacation' as he p-put it and when he came back he broke my window again and suggested that w-we get Brainfreezies."

"He was probably off raping teenagers, the creep." snorted the purple haired lady angrily.

"What? No!"

"Oh yeah? What makes you think that kid? Is Johnny wonderfully nice to everyone and pass out daisies on Saturday?"

"Um. N-no. He doesn't like touching people. I think he's scared of touching people actually. And m-my name's Todd. Mr. Neighbor Man calls me S-squeegee though, cause of the sound I make when I get s-scared." _I wish Shmee were here! Why hasn't Johnny saved me from this lady yet? SQUEE!_

"Hm... look, just stay with me tonight. I don't want you walking around this city in the middle of the night. I'm Devi D."

"Th-that's okay. Mr. Neighbor Man will take me home. Uh, if you don't mind me asking, how do you know him?"

"Feh. I dated him for a while and then he tried to kill me. I've lived in fear since then."

"But he hasn't even been in this city for three months... anyway, er, Devi, he was staring at you. But not like he stared at the... the g-guy at the m-mall." He stopped talking abrubtly. Todd's experience replayed through his head. The picture of Johnny's blood soaked knives tearing right through the molester's skull and into his brain... And the calm explanation for the brutal murder. He killed the man so easily, watched the life drain from him with what was almost joy, appreciation for the work he had done.

Squee was shaking violently and whispering quietly, "Didn't need to teach me, Johnny, didn't need to teach me..."

Johnny walked down the street to Devi's apartment, holding a Fizz-Wizz in each bloodied glove. Skillfully lifting his steel toed boot, he opened her door.

"Eh, Squeegee? Whatcha' shaking for?" he said, paying no heed to Devi who was trying to calm Todd down.

"SQUEE!" he shrieked and hid behind Johnny's leg when Devi tried to grab his shoulders.

"You shouldn't scare little kids like that. Here Squee, I brought you a Fizz-Whiz. It's cherry."

"I SHOULDN'T SCARE KIDS? YOU JUST MADE THIS POOR THING HAVE A SEIZURE!"

"Thanks... Um. S-scary Neighbor Man, why is this bottle drenched in blood?" Todd said as calmly as he could, almost used to Johnny's strange behavior, and trying to ignore Devi's screaming.

"One second." Johnny stepped over to Devi and hit her over the head with the butt of his knife. Her panic stopped instantly, but then Johnny explained the Fizz-Wizz.

"They turned off the FUCKING Brainfreezy machine! WHY THE HELL WOULD THEY DO THAT?! THEY TAUNT ME! THEY TAUNT ME SO!"

"Let's go home, Mr. Neighbor Man..."

"HOW HARD IS IT TO NOT TOUCH THE MACHINE! JUST LEAVE IT ALONE!"

"Squee!" Todd closed his eyes, believing himself to be on the brink of death.

Johnny sipped his Fizz-Wizz and took a shuddering breath, not wanting to hurt Todd."Fine. I'll just talk to Devi at my house." He picked up Devi and prepared to walk out the door.

_I don't think the Devi lady will like waking up in a bloody basement. _thought Squee.

"Um. Um." Squee stuttered and searched for words.

"Oi, what is it? I wanna go!" Nny snarled.

"N-nothing." squeaked out Todd.

For what seemed like forever, Todd was sitting in a concrete room deep in the house on a musty matress next to the unmoving form of Devi D. and Shmee. They had stopped to get that 'damn bear' before going to Johnny's house. Johnny was upstairs making Sketti-O's to eat with his Fizz-Wizz.

Todd was glad that the room they were in was quite clean besides a creepy statue from the burger place in the corner.

Devi slowly sat up, her head pounding. It was dark and warm in the room and she could hear a small voice talking.

"Shmee... I never knew that Nny had a girlfriend. He might have told me, but it's hard to understand what he's sayin' sometimes... 'specially when he gets sad. Ya know?"

It was the kid from earlier. He had a demented teddy bear, and he was apparently speaking to it.

"Of course he has reason to be sad, silly! People make fun of him like they make fun of me. Nuh uh, Shmee. Johnny won't hurt me and I'm NOT going to burn his house down. That would be rude. Being invited to someone's house and then burning it down? You should learn some manners, Shmee... what? She's awake?"

He turned to see Devi looking at him.

"Oh." Todd said, "Hi. Mr. Neighbor Man wants you to stay in here, but you don't really have a choice. He locked me in here with you to make sure you d-didn't get hurt. He expected you to wake up sooner, but I think he hit your head harder than he meant to. And he said to not be scared of him."

Devi was hysterical, but forced herself to calm down. A seven year old wasn't going to do anything to her!

"Um. Why... wouldn't I be... scared of him?"

"What, do you think he's goin' to hurt you? He just wants to talk with ya. I said that you wouldn't mind talking to him anyway, but then he screeched about a phone shooting him and hell bagels. I decided not to keep trying to convince him since he was gettin' crazy again..."

"Hell bagels. Ok, Todd, just what is wrong with your neighbor?"

"Depends."'

Upstairs Johnny was having tons of nonexistant fun trying to make his food. He couldn't find the Sketti-Os.

Cabinet? No. Fridge? No. Gaping hole in the wall? Yep. There they were.

Cheerfully he poured the delicious noodley circles in the pot only to realize that he didn't have a spoon.

"Johnny is really easily upset," Todd said quietly, "Lots of things set him off, and he says that the voices tell him that those who ridicule him or say 'wacky' NEED to die. I don't know what he was talking about with the wacky thing."

Devi recalled a news report in which everyone in the Taco Smell was killed with a magical spoon/fork or something. It was apparently very 'wacky'.

She nodded for Todd to continue.

"WHERE IS THE FUCKING SPOON?! WHERE IS IT?!"

"Um. He also doesn't like people that much. He's kinda scared of people in a way. I dunno why he likes me so much."

Johnny suddenly stomped into the room.

"Squee. Do you have a SPOON?" he snarled visciously, closing the door behind him.

Todd quivered and nodded, giving him a spoon which was in his pocket along with a bottle of bactine.

Johnny smiled suddenly and as he left said, "Thanks Squeegee."

Squee nodded and waited for him to be out of hearing range.

"And he goes from angry to happy to sad really quick. You can't tell what he's gonna do."

"Mm hm..."

_This kid is practically Johnny's therapist! Suprised the little boy's still sane._

Johnny walked back in.

"The Sketti-Os are too old. I can't- oh. You're awake. Heh, sorry about hitting you on the head. You were hysterical."

"Well let's see, I find out that you've tried to kill people other than me AND that your best friend is in first grade! That's just creepy!"

"Wha...? No, Nailbunny is my best friend. Squeegee's pretty nice though. And you're the only person I tried to kill and didn't."

"Nailbunny? Johnny, WHAT are you talking about?"

"Um. I'll be right back."

He reentered with the head of a rabbit, it's eyes sunk deep into it's head.

"I fed him once and nailed him to a wall." he said sadly.

"You WHAT?"

Squee stared at the bunny. It was weird lookin'.

"I fed him once and then nailed him to the wall. He scared me."

"The bunny... scared you?"

"Mmyep. Now he helps me out once in a while. Like... like Shmee helps Squeegee."

"The lint infested bastard." he added bitterly.

"Shmee isn't linty!" Squee protested. He poked the bear a couple of times. "Ok, maybe a little linty, but not infested with it."

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!" shrieked Devi.

"Uh, go on home Squeegee. I wanna talk to her."

"Ok Scary Neighbor Man." he tottered up the stairs and across the street to his home.

"Fmeh. Devi. Why do you hate me?"

"You tried to kill me." she growled.

"Well... I said I was sorry..."

"You can't just APOLIGIZE for attempted murder Johnny." Devi said in a flat tone.

"It wasn't MY fault Devi. And I don't kill people anymore." Johnny's thoughts drifted to the weird green kid he slaughtered this morning, a strange boy with a long sycthe of hair cheering him on. He said the green kid was an alien, so he wasn't technically lying. But after that he killed everyone in the grocery store. So he WAS lying. _Well fine. I'll just get back into my habit AFTER she stops hating me._

"How is trying to kill someone not your fault?"

"The doughboys... Mr. Eff made me do it. That retarded blob of styrofoam and his suicidal pal D-Boy. But as far as I know, I'm voice-free now!"

**Sorry mah boy, but no such luck. Ya stil have the Reverend here to chat. **said MEAT.

_And me._ said D-boy.

**_And me._** said Mr. Eff.

**_What? Huh? Oh. I'm here too._** Nailbunny said.

"Yep. No voices." Johnny said again.

"Okaaay then. So two Pilsbury losers convinced you to try and kill me?"

"Um. Yeah. I wouldn't want to associate them with food though. They said that if I went out with you something would go horribly wrong, so they told me to 'immortalize the moment'. Rather silly looking back on it now."

"Aaaw... You tried to kill me cause you never wanted me to leave? That's sweet in a horribly twisted way." Devi said in a 'aw lookit da puppy!' voice.

"So. You forgive me?"

"Of course."

They both stared at eachother wondering what to do.

"..."

"..."

"HOLY FUCK I LEFT THE SKETTI-O'S ON THE STOVE!!!"

Up in his room, Squee cringed and buried himself deeper in the covers. _I hope Johnny doesn't tell me anymore bedtime stories... or leave dead things in my room. _

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Whooo. Chapter two will be soon. Well my happy campers, what do ya think? Stupid? Crazy? Illiterate? Hilarious? OOC? All of those guesses are correct! Except the hilarious one. Did anyone notice the downward spiral in seriousness as this progressed? It actually didn't start as a humor, but as you can see... I can't help it. Review and I'll give you life size Johnny and Squee plushies to snuggle with. THE JOHNNY PLUSHIE NOW HAS SHARP EDGES FOR ADDED REALISM! Mine's on my bed right now. He's got that little depressed look on his face that just makes you want to screech "HUG!" and leap upon him. Of course, it naturally hurts to hug him. That's what the sharp edges are for. But they seem to make him all the more loveable... I mean, who doesn't want to snuggle with a psychopathic killer and a paranoid kid as they go to sleep? Well, at least the few of us Jhonen fans who sleep. The rest of us can just sit on our beds, Johnny by our sides, writing fanfics. I'm sure Johnny being RIGHT NEXT TO YOU WITH HIS ELBOW STABBING YOU IN THE HEAD CAUSE HE'S SO TALL will discourage you from writing sick edgar/nny shit. Of course, the Squee plushie may force you to write a good ol' pedophilic Johnny story. Then again the elbow may still discourage you. Just think of it this way; What would Jhonen do? Actually, no, scratch that. I don't WANT to know what Jhonen would do when shoved between a huge pointy plushie and a tiny round blob of a plushie being forced to write fanfics for his own story.

Boy am I amazing. Kalila teh Mae, 14 year old genius... is OUT.


	2. The Cliff

Oh my GOD. I had a review and 8 hits 10 minutes after I posted the first chapter. Ravyn, you have the joy of being the first reviewer and the joy of me loving your email address! I give you PLUSHIES! But don't worry. You other less superior reviewers get plushies too. And don't think that because Ravyn is superior to you means that you are inferior, for you are certainly more superior than those who didn't review. Hehe.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any characters in this. Everything down to my very soul belongs to Jhonen C. Vasquez. Yay.

Warnie: People... seriously. Cussing, ultra violent, weird.

Review! This time I pass out lil Sickness and Devi plushies!

Oh, and in case there was any misconceptions, Johnny and Devi are not yet on dating level again. Just goodly friends.

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_**"Hey Squeegee. What're you doing?" The tall blue haired man spoke quietly.**_

_**"Oh, um, uh, it's this Scool thing. I'm supposed to bring a friend but Andy was eaten by that weird dog." The pallid wide eyed boy answered an even quieter voice.**_

_**"... who're you bringing then?" The man didn't honestly care, but was curious as to what the child would do.**_

_**"I found a pinecone on the way to Scool. I'm bringing it since Shmee's arm got ripped on a chair." He looked down sadly.**_

_**"A pinecone? I don't know if your teacher will like that."**_

_**"P-probably not, but if I just do what she says I'll be okay." He stumbled over his words, scared of his teacher and his neighbor's reaction.**_

_**"I could come with you if you want. 'S not like I have anything else to do today." A look of pondering crossed his face. "Well, I kind of need to clean up what's left of that stripey shirted guy... Vargas, was it?"**_

_**"Squee! Uh, uh... s-sure, you can come." **_

_**"Okie dokie. I'm your friend now." Another crazed smile flitted across the tall man's face.**_

The Sketti-Os were finally disposed of and Devi sat on a rickety chair in Johnny's kitchen.

"So were were we?" asked Johnny.

"We were staring at one another senselessly."

"Oh."

The both stared at each other for about ten minutes until Johnny frowned. "I'm hungry."

"We can go to the Taco Hell and then go do stuff." Devi suggested.

"Ok! I need to go talk to Squee first."

Johnny stabbed a bird on the way to Todd's house, thoroughly disturbing and confusing Devi.

"Hey Squeegee..." he said quietly, dropping the bird on his windowsill, "Sleep tight, don't let the horrible demons leap from the depths of hell and devour your family before your eyes before turning to you and slowly taking you apart and-"

"Johnny!" hissed Devi.

"Um. G'night Squee."

Johnny and Devi wandered away to the Taco Hell, leaving poor Todd in fear.

_SQUEE! I need a dreamcatcher to stop the demons! Wait, no, that's nightmares... _

"Shmee, how do I stop demons? ... I can't? Mmm... sometimes I wish Pepito still lived here... I know! I'll call him!"

Johnny and Devi walked down the street when some random dude stepped up to Devi.

"Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit! It's Devi D!"

"Um. No." Devi lied fearfully, "You must be mistaken."

Johnny pretty much looked scared and took a step back. Organs spewing in your face was one thing. What that man _said_ was another.

"No, no, you ARE Devi D! You painted a picture I liked."

"Uh, yeah?"

"Mm-hm. My name is Kyle. There was this totally awesome thing and this donkey eating beans..." the man walked with them all the way to the Taco Hell, talking about a most likely nonexistant painting the entire time.

"Oh, you guys are going to the Taco Hell? Hey! I work here! You said your name was Johnny? Cool, now I can talk to you and Devi more!" he said as Johnny and Devi sat down.

"Nny?" Devi whispered in horror, "I really wouldn't mind if you... maybe... killed him. Just a little bit."

Johnny nodded and said, "Get me some nachos."

"Hey Kyle. There's this, uh, cool thingy outside." Nny mentioned.

"OOH! Show it to me!"

Johnny grabbed a couple of sporks on the way out.

"GAAAH! IT BURNS! GOD NO! GET THAT OUT OF MY EAR! What are you doing with that? Johnny? Um, I don't think that's what a spork is for... SPORK IN MY LUNG! SPORK IN MY LUNG! HRK! Nyeeeh..."the horrendous screams ended as Devi ordered some nachos. No one seemed to notice the brutal murder that had occured just outside.

Johnny walked back in and sat down casually. His shoes and hands were coated in blood, but Devi, Nny, and everyone else ignored the fact.

"I like nachos." said Devi happily crunching on a chip.

"Me too."

Somewhere far away, Pepito's phone rang. His caller ID announced the that Todd was calling him.

He picked up the reciever.

"Uh, Pepito, Johnny say that demons are gonna jump up and eat me and mommy and daddy."

"Hmph. Your neighbor LIES! No demons will eat you Todd."

"Oh. Ok. Thanks."

"SO. Wanna join the legions of Hell?"

"Not really..."

"I'll let the demons eat you if you don't."

"Hm." _Join the legions of Hell... or be eaten. Decisions, decisions._

"I guess I could join the legions of Hell. What do I have to do?"

"You just get a few Hell powers, a robe, a scythe... you don't actually have to do bad things. Just look scary on Saturdays and the occasional soul retrieval duty."

"Really? I could've done this a while ago."

"Let me go tell Father."

"'K."

A few minutes later, Senor (A/N: Sorry, WordPad doesn't let me add the accent mark over the 'n'.) Diablo, otherwise known as Satan, was on the phone.

"Mr. Satan, sir? Can I join the legions of Hell?"

"Sure you can! One second."

A moment later, Todd was floating in his room in a black robe. A creepy red aura surrounded him and he held a scythe in his hands.

"Welcome to the legions of Hell, Todd. You'll find your official card in your pocket."

"Thanks Mr. Satan. Tell Pepito thanks for me as well."

"Your welcome Todd, I will. Talk to you later. Bye."

"Bye."

Todd hung up.

"Shmee. What have I done?"

He looked down at the scythe in his hands. It was shiny. He then hung it on his wall and floated back to bed.

Johnny paid for the nachos and the pair walked out the door.

The two of them passed a movie theater.

"Oh, look. 'Dust 2: Vacuum's Revenge' is on." Devi said boredly.

"Who could make a movie about something so mundane?" Johnny muttered.

"The same creator of 'When TV Remotes Strike Back'."

"That movie wasn't too bad. I doubt that shoving a remote into someone's naval will kill them, though. Not from experience of course." _I used a manga, not a remote._

"Uh. Sure. Did you see the movie about the crippled guy who had carrots for legs? And he ended up eating them? That one was bad."

"Yeh. It was called 'Carrot Nub'. Horrible."

"Listen to those wacky goth kids. No respect for good movies..." whispered one teen to another.

The two stopped instantly.

"Did you say wacky?" Johnny growled.

"Did you call people older than you kids?" Devi wondered.

"Uh. Yes and yes."

"Why?" Devi and Nny said simultaneously.

"I said wacky 'cause that word is awesome, yo fo shizzle shit fuck daaaamn." said the first teen. Who was white.

"I dunno why he called you guys kids. And Carrot Nub was a sucky movie." said his relatively sane black 'friend', who was actually just a random black guy named 'Mr. Moot' standing near him.

"Totally wacky of me.W-w-w-w-WACKY." said Mr. White.

Johnny twitched psychotically.

"Uh, Johnny? You okay?" Devi asked.

"I. HATE. THAT. WORD."

Devi recalled Squee's speech. _... those who ridicule him or say 'wacky' NEED to die. I don't know what he was talking about with the 'wacky' thing._

"Er. Johnny, let's go."

"Yeh, wackeh man! Go, yo!"

"I'm leaving." said Moot.

Johnny glared at the white teen.

"Johnny. Let's GO."

"Hehe, your girlfriend bossing you around?"

Let's for a moment pretend that Johnny's mind is a piece of rope. A tattered old rope made of loosely woven strands, and was held together by a single string. The string broke and the boy was dead.

"... You know I would never do that to you." Johnny said after about 5 minutes of stunned silence.

Devi nodded. The pair wandered about until finding themselves sitting on a very familiar cliff.

Far away, Squee floated out of bed, changed into normal clothes, and floated off to Scool.

"Hey SQUEAK. Whatcha doing?"

"Uh, going to Scool."

"HAH. Scool is for losers!"

"Then where are YOU going?" Todd asked.

"Scool. Anyway, I'm going to beat you up."

"... why?"

"I have no clue."

The random bully advanced on him, but suddenly Squee's hand shot out and melted his face off.

Squee stared at the burning skull on the ground then at his still glowing hand.

"Uh... that's... th-that's handy." He stuttered.

Then he continued his float to Scool.

Johnny and Devi sat peacefully, watching the sun rise.

**_You know it wont last long._** whispered Eff in his ear when two people appeared behind them.

_End it now, Johnny._ grinned D-Boy.

**No, no, Johnny, you know for a fact that you love Devi. Make her love YOU. **snarled MEAT.

**_Johnny! Just be nice to her, she's your friend!_** Nailbunny squeeked.

"Hey! This is OUR cliff! Stop sitting all over it!" said the fifteen year old boy who seemed to be a blonde jock.

The girl next to him looked confused.

"Um. No." said Johnny and continued his sunrise watching.

"Tim, we should leave them alone." said the girl intelligently.

"No way, Cass, we ain't leaving this hill.

"Oh, come on. It's not like we OWN the hill."

"Or do we?" Twighlight Zone music played in the background.

"No. We don't." The music stopped abruptly.

"But CASS, I wanted this morning to be special!"

"... alright. Ask them nicely."

"Hey! Yeh, you, kissy people! Could you please leave? I want to spend time with my girlfriend."

Johnny glared. "Maybe I want to spend time with mine! And I do. So get lost."

Devi blushed. _Uh, I'm not your girlfriend, Johnny..._

"Too bad! Get off the cliff!"

"Look kid. I finally have someone who will talk to me, let alone sit on a cliff with me, and I DON'T WANT MENTALLY ILL LOVESICK HI-SCOOL STUDENTS RUINING IT! GO AWAY!" Johnny screeched psychotically.

"No." defied Tim.

The following action is obvious. It involves Tim suddenly having a lack of air and a knife in his gut. Who can guess what happened? That's right. Johnny leapt up to strangle the knave whilst causing him a ruptured spleen.

Cass could only watch in horror as Tim was brutally beaten by a thin man. She backed away slowly, and finally turned to run back to the city.

"Hi there." Before Cass stood an adorable little boy. "Are you ok?"

"Oh my goodness, little boy. You'll never believe what I just saw..."

The boy looked rather thoughtful for a moment. "Um. I actually think that I will."

Tears started to well up in her eyes. "I was dating this guy and-"

"Did he try to kill you?"

"No. This guy and his friend killed HIM."

"Oh. Sorry, no counseling help for that one. ... eh, would that guy happened to be named Johnny? And his friend Devi?"

"Yeah. I think so." she sniffed.

"Oh. They do that sometimes."

"_Kill people?_"

"No, that's just Johnny. They both lose their temper. What was goin' on?"

"They were sitting on the cliff and then... and then..."

_I guess I missed something. _"Well, there's nothing you can do about it. Sorry, I guess. I have to get to Scool."

The little boy floated past her.

Upon seeing this, Cass suffered severe trauma and died.

Todd blinked and kept floating.

"Johnny." Devi said.

"Devi..."

"No, no, it's ok. I just realized that it seems as though jerks are attracted to you."

"I noticed." he smiled slightly.

"... I don't hate you for killing people, you know. I guess I was wrong before, since really... you only kill people who shouldn't be here." Devi could feel her morals twisting and bending as she spoke. If she hung out with Johnny they probably would be up for a beating.

Johnny nodded. "I only killed one person who didn't deserve to die... and failed at killing one. Edgar Vargas and... a-and me..."

"What? That is NOT true, Johnny!" _He thinks he deserves to die? Well, I guess he IS crazy._

"Which one?"

"You DON'T deserve to die! You're the sweetest guy I know!"

"..." Johnny looked down at the bloodied toe of his boot doubtingly.

"Seriously Johnny. You're not exactly the most civil, but I'm pretty sure that any other guy probably would've tried to grope me or something while sitting on this cliff."

"..." He nodded.

"So you agree? You don't deserve to die?"

"... I guess. Not like I can anyway."

"What are you talking about?"

He passed out from not sleeping for 73 days.

"Fine, I'll just carry you back home..."

It was a long road to Johnny's house, but Johnny was very light.

Later, Johnny woke up on the musty mattress from chapter one.

_Wh-where am I? ... FUCK. I fell asleep! _

Curled up behind him was no other than Devi D.

_What in the hell is going on? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON! Meh. I need a Brainfreezy._

Lucky for him, Devi had thought of that. On the floor was a SUCK! cup full of cherry Brainfreezy.

Johnny grinned and walked upstairs with the freezy. The icy stuff destroyed his rage.

THEN THE DOORBELL RANG. Screamed. Whatever.

"Excuuuse me sir, but I couldn't help but notice you are living in this house which is not owned. Technically... this is government property. Us in Government Land want this chunk o' dirt crap for a new mini mall."

"ARE YOU SAYING THAT- wait, a mini mall wouldn't fit here."

"Or wooouuuld it?" The Twilight Zone music started up again.

"WOULD YOU CUT THAT OUT!" Johnny screamed at the sky before returning to the government man (the music stopped). "No. It would NOT."

"... oh, fine. It's actually so we can kick you out of your house and give it to the Umbrella Corporation. They want to build this 'Hive' thing and this land is perfect for it."

Johnny had a memory lapse.

"Why the FUCK ARE YOU ON MY LAWN!" The government man was soon incapacitated. "Wait, yeah, he was the government dude... Oh well." He dragged the unconsience body into his basement.

Squee, walking home from Scool, could only stare in horror as the government man was taken away.

Devi awoke slowly, hearing muted screeching from the depths of the house. Devi had seen Johnny kill... but had never ever been in the basement any farther than the room with the mattress in it.

"Nny?" she called, picking up a conveniently placed flashlight. "Geez, how does he navigate this place... so dark..."

She stepped into the hallway. It suddenly looked darker than ever, bones hanging from various devices on the walls, her shoes sloshing through the occasional puddle of a coppery substance.

The screams grew louder as she stumbled through the labyrinth of tunnels.

"Miss..." came a weak voice, "Could you get me out... of this box? They're sleeping now, but not for long."

Devi sent the beam of her light to a box. A small box, obviously with a person stuffed inside.

"Um. Who's there?"

"I made fun of this guy and he stuffed me in a box full of rabid rats. I'm lucky to be alive, but the darkness... it's closing in and... a-and the squeaking! The horrible squeaking!" This woke the rats in the box, who continued their job of devouring the man.

"NO! NOOO! HOLY LORD, THEY'RE IN MY CHEST CAVITY! OH JESUS, IT'S EATING MY HEART!" A disturbing gurgling sound was heard, followed by a dark puddle of blood forming around the box.

She held back the urge to vomit and continued walking, though now ignoring the occasional pleas.

"Do you understand?" she could hear what was obviously Johnny's voice around a cracked corner. "No one is taking my house. I really doubt I can find another house quite like it. By the look on your face you agree. That's alright. You won't need to look for property any longer." Johnny laughed hoarsely as a sick crunching noise rang out, most likely a broken bone.

"I'm sorry, did I hurt you? Quite sorry. I know that dying isn't exactly the most enjoyable experience, I know. I vaguely recall having my head blasted open. Well, that is if it wasn't some disturbing dream. If you go to heaven then you can have head 'splody like I did, and if you go to hell you can get one of their crappy bagels and live in eternal torment. Besides, once I'M done with you, you'll think eternal torment is wonderful. Hell isn't that bad, Mr. Government Man, just a bit uncomfortable and filled with jerks. And bagels."

Another crunching noise resounded grossly throughout the basement.

"Well, since you've lost the ability to move and limbs and as I have succesfully removed your voicebox, I guess I can untie you. And take the duct-tape off."

_Oh my gosh! _Devi panicked. _Ok, ok, maybe I can save him! No, Johnny broke ALL OF HIS BONES and got rid of his voice box somehow... maybe I can just make him kill him faster._

"Uh, Nny? You in here?"

"Yup. This guy showed up on my lawn wanting to kick me out of my house. Thanks for the freezy by the way."

The man, strapped to a gurney, twitched. You could see all his innards working since he had no skin.

"Can't you just... kill him?"

"Why?"

"Well... he's just sitting there. Bleeding to death. Why not just stab him?"

"... fine, fine. I understand. But I won't stab him."

He dumped acid onto the the man's still pumping heart without warning. He attempted to scream, but ended up with foam and blood erupting from his mouth and all over his face.

"OH MY GAWD!" screeched Devi, jumping backward.

The man basically appeared to have a seizure while he melted. ON THE INSIDE.

The acid burned through his body and made a hole in the gurney. All of his organs fell through this hole and writhed in the acid. The man was dead.

"Aw... I liked that gurney."

Devi on the other hand was freaking out for obvious reasons.

Outside, Todd Casil could hear the psychotic shrieks of Devi.

_Ooh, I hope she's okay..._

He quickly descended the stairs out of worry and followed the sound of her screams, managing not to notice the horrendous things strewn about.

Then Squee walked in.

"Um, Mr. Scary Neighbor Man, I was wondering if- IS THAT A PERSON?!"

g8vgiu34oiunvgo

Hehe, this one is GOOD. Way more violent than the first, I hope that doesn't offend anyone. Either way, review for life size Devi and Sickness plushies. The Devi plushie comes with real scowling action and three sets of badly made stuffed doll clothes. The Sickness doll will fit in your backpack and has removable eyes. Now you can pretend to be on the verge of madness, and if you actually ARE on the verge of madness, you can make it more realistic with your very own Sickness doll. Review now and you will receive a limited edition email! YAY! Kalila teh Mae... is OUT.


	3. Devi has a brother?

Whooo. Chappinter THREE is here. Thank you for all the beautiful reviews, I love all of you forever. This time I am passing out Johnny's very own Mr. Fuck and Psycho Doughboy in plushie form to my reviewers. They are awesome, so you must review. :) Oh, and let's all pretend Devi has a brother to make this funnier.

Warnings: Ok, you know what? I'm not even going to say it. OR make a disclaimer! You know how it works, so shut up.

REMEMBER TO VISUALIZE ALL THAT IS HAPPENING. It's way funnier like that.

043vpoitepr;

**"Mr. Scary Neighbor Man? Thanks for coming to Scool with me today." The tiny child seemed even smaller next to the tall and lanky form of the man walking alongside him.**

**"Your welcome. At least I'm now blessed with the information knowing that your generation is growing up just as horribly as mine."**

**"... I dunno what that means, but I believe you Mr. Neighbor Man."**

**"I mean that every kid in your class is just as bastardly as half of the adult scum on this pathetic planet."**

**"Oh. I knew that."**

**"I assumed you had seeing as how you have to deal with those illiterate morons every day. If I were in that classroom..."**

**The pair walked past a butcher shop.**

**"Th-that's okay, I know what would happen. You don't have to tell me."**

**"If you say so. I suppose it is rather obvious since you know me." The tall man glared of into the distance as the small boy held back a cry of fear.**

"Um, Mr. Scary Neighbor Man, I was wondering if- IS THAT A PERSON?!"

Squee turned around and swiftly floated home, mortified.

"Hm..." Johnny glanced over to see Devi curled into a ball, breathing heavily.

_Oh great. I was never any good at comforting people... damn, that moose painting is creepy. Wait, what am I talking about?_

"Uh. Devi, it's okay." he said, the words foreign to his tongue. He picked her up in his seemingly frail arms and carried her up the stairs to the musty old mattress from chapter one.

Devi lay twitching on the mattress for quite some time before Johnny realized that she was probably rather scared.

_Hm. I guess that whole scene WAS a bit bloody. Darn, back to the comforting..._

Little Todd was having problems of his own. His Hell legion license was revoked due to melting off the kid's face and feeling sorry about it.

Now he was again poor scared little Todd Casil with a dead bird on his windowsill.

"Shmee? I haven't seen daddy in a few days. Where do you think he went? ... no, of course not. And I'm not going to hunt him down and burn him. That's mean. Nuh uh, Mommy is downstairs eating pills again. I guess we could watch TV some. Yeah. Discovery Channel."

"Er, there's nothing to be afraid of you know." Johnny continued, trying to sound caring. It wasn't working too well. "He's dead now. Nothing bad's happening." He sat next to her and tapped her on the head a few times.

Devi fell sobbing into his arms, obviously not in her right mind. "Wh-why'd ya do that, Nny? Why'd ya kill him?"

"He tried to kick me out of my house, Devi." He tried to escape her grip, but she just ended up hugging him tighter.

"Blood everywhere..." After a while of crying she fell asleep, still plastered to Johnny's chest.

_... this isn't good. Get her off me!_

He was stuck sitting on the musty mattress from chapter one with a purple haired girl grabbing him.

"This is just great... why me? Just why of all people ME? I guess it's since I dumped acid into that guy. Hm. I'm talking to myself. At least it's not the voices..."

**Don't worry Johnny! We're still here. It's just fun to watch you freak out over this girl.**

_It really is._

_**Hehe, I'm going to have to agree with D-boy and the Reverend on this one.**_

_**Well... sorry Johnny, but it is pretty funny. Just don't hurt her.**_

"Wonderful..." Johnny growled. "Fine, I'll just go do what I do anyway."

_**Kill people?**_

"No, Eff. Watch TV." he replied with impatience.

It took him a while to get upstairs to his television, and even longer to turn it to the channel he wanted it to, but after kicking the TV for a bit he finally got to the horror movies.

Sadly enough, it was a replay of 'Dust: Attack of the Killer Vacuums' since the sequel just came out. He watched it anyway though. It was too difficult to do anything with Devi grabbing onto him.

Squee sat twitching on his bed, reading his Scool directory to find someone to talk to. Normally he wouldn't need it being the mature seven year old he is, but really... he had to talk to someone after what he had seen, and all Shmee did was recommend burning things.

At last he found an okay looking number.

"Uh, hello?"

"Um. Hi. I'm Todd Casil, I go to your Scool, and I was wondering if I could talk to you about the stuff happening in my neighborhood."

The voice on the other line sounded strange; it was off, but he couldn't say how. It was just weird sounding. (For the people catching on, you know what I'm talking about. His voice IS weird.)

"About what?"

"Uh, freaky stuff has been happening and some kids said you would know about it."

"I guess I could check it out... where are you?"

"House 779."

"Ooh, next to that creepy shack? Hm. I think I can help you. I know a lot about freaky things."

Ten minutes later a boy a few years older than Todd walked in. His hair flew back in a freakish scythe and he wore a trench coat and glasses. His shirt was emblazoned with a bored looking face.

"Um. I'm Dib."

"I'm Todd.

"So. What kind of weird stuff are we talking about?"

"My neighbor kills people and... and he just dumped acid in... and... it was horrible." squeaked Todd.

"My neighbor was an alien. I moved away from that place a while ago, though. Some kid with horns moved in over in my place."

"Really? I was abducted. Twice. My mommy and daddy were abducted once, too."

"Lucky! All I get to do is hang around my house all day and occasionally defend the world from evil. My dad's never home and I don't have a mom. Maybe she was abducted..."

"L-lucky? Um. Dib, this stuff is bad. I wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of screams and dust mites try and kill me and aliens put subtle implants on my head and make daddy's butt beep! And my mommy and daddy are always home. It's awful."

"Oh yeah? Wanna bet?"

Shmee urged him to keep arguing.

"O-okay! I'll stay at your house for a week and you stay at mine! If you like my life better then you get two dollars and a toy from the Taco Hell."

"Fine. I three blocks from Scool. See ya next week, Todd."

"I have a bad feeling about this..." muttered Todd, walking to his new home.

Devi's eyes cracked open. She couldn't see anything, the room was dark, and she clung to a soft (but slightly pointy) object.

The soft but slightly pointy object was looking at her.

"What...? Soft? The pointy?" Devi said slowly.

"Uh, no, I'm Johnny. The homicidal maniac. I guess my shirt is kinda soft though. And the knife in my pocket is pointy." The soft pointy could talk!

"Soft pointy..." she muttered and curled into a kitty cat ball on the soft pointy.

"Soft pointy is a contradictory statement, Devi. Are you okay?" The soft pointy poked her in the head awkwardly.

She came to her senses and scrambled off of Johnny.

"You wouldn't let go of my arm." Johnny pointed out. (How many times can I possibly use the word 'point'?)

"Uh. Sorry."

"I've been stuck watching Dust: Attack of the Killer Vacuums since you wouldn't let me out of your death grip. Of death."

"That reminds me, Nny. What did you mean by not being able to die?" She took off the jacket she was wearing and put in on the couch.

_Good thing she isn't asking about killing that guy... maybe she forgot? I read trauma can do that to you. Of course, a newpaper clipping from the 1800's isn't that acurate._ "I dunno if it was a dream or not, but a gun thingy on my phone shot me in the head and I died, went to heaven and hell, then Mr. Satan sent me back. He was a jerk."

Johnny looked thoughtful for a second and started to walk to the door without warning.

"Where're you going?" Devi asked as he reached for the doorknob.

"I almost forgot to tell Squeegee his bedtime story."

_I don't think Todd would mind if you did..._ "Oh. Okay then. I'm going home just so you know."

Johnny nodded and continued on his way. Devi walked out the door behind him and began her trek home.

Little did they know, Squee was far away in the house of a big headed kid. The big headed kid's sister saw him at that instant.

"Who are you?" she asked slowly.

"T-Todd." He was terrified. The girl's hair was shaped like the mouth of a terrible beast, and her eyes appeared to be closed permanantly.

"Hm. I'm Gaz. Why are you in my stupid brother's room?"

"He said that his life was boring, so I made him a bet, so now I'll live here for a week."

"That's dumb."

"Yeah... it kinda is."

"Not kinda, it completely is."

"Mmyep."

"Just stay out of my room and don't touch my Gameslave during the rare time I'm not using it."

"Gameslave?"

Gaz opened one eye to look at him more clearly. He was little, probably four years younger than her, but he was definetly intelligent. His eyes were really big, too. Did this kid really not know what a Gameslave was?

"Oi..." she said, shutting her eye again, "Borrow this one."

A moment later Todd had in his hands a purple gaming device that stated messily it was a GS2. In it was the game pak for Vampire Piggy Hunter.

"And here's the manual."

"Um. Thanks I guess."

Gaz stalked out of the room, a different GS2 in hand.

"Let's see..." Todd said to himself, opening the manual.

Devi stepped into her messy apartment and just started to sit down when the phone rang.

Sighing, she picked it up.

"Whaaat?" she drawled in annoyance.

"Hey Devi!" said a chipper voice. "It's me, Ivan."

"Ivan? What do you want? It's kind of 10:30 at night, you know."

"I couldn't get a hold of you at all today, and I figured you be home by now. I'm coming to visit you. Dad wants to know how you're doing."

"I'm doing fine. I don't know if I can have guests over, though..."

"Devi, you've been calling less and less. I need to know you're doing okay." (Yeah, he's classic over protective big brother.)

"It's fine, really, Ivan." _Well, at least he doesn't know about the whole Johnny incident. If he comes then he won't have anything against him._

"Devi. I'm coming over there wether you want me to or not." He hung up.

"Great." She growled and turned off the phone. She switched her radio on.

MSI's 'Shut Me Up' was on. YAY.

Dib sat alone in Todd's room. He was sure he heard something move but couldn't be sure. The whole room seemed to be watching him due to the freakish wallpaper. He gargantuan head turned towards the window.

_Wait... why didn't I notice that was broken before?_

A second later a knife was at his throat.

"Where is Todd?" growled the knife's weilder.

"At m-my house. We traded for a week."

"Another Scool thing?"

"You could say that."

The knife was brought away.

"Oh. Well. I'm his neighbor. Johnny. My friends call me Nny."

Dib refrained from commenting on his nickname. "Uh. I'm Dib. Nice to meet you, Nny."

"Nice. Yeah. Whatever. I'm leaving. Don't lock the windows, the tunnel collapsed while I was on vacation." Nny muttered creepily as he climbed out the window.

"Um. Okay, I guess. Todd wasn't kidding when he said his neighborhood was weird." Dib said, talking to himself as usual.

Twenty minutes later the screams started up.

"... maybe Todd was right..." Then he saw it; a teenage boy was standing in the room, his eyes shadowed over.

"Little boy! Oh, little boy! This guy... he killed me!"

"Then how are you standing in front of me?"

"How do you know I am?" The teenager's arms wiggled in a ghostly fashion.

A teenage girl appeared next to him.

"Tim? I died." she said quietly.

Then a random little girl popped up.

"Visitors! Can I serve you some Drain-O, er, I mean, uh, tea? Heehee..."

"I'm okay." Dib said slowly.

"Cool! A tea party! Let's blow this popsicle stand, Cass!" said Tim.

"But weren't we supposed to tell this large headed boy something important?"

"Forget it. I wanna go to the tea party!"

They all disappeared.

"SWEET MOTHER OF BILL NYE! IS THAT A CORN COB? GLAAAAAARGH! Ehhh..." The screams continued.

Dib didn't get much sleep that night.

Todd was having a great time though!

"Hey, Gaz?" he whispered to her door.

"WHAT."

"Uh, you wanna play multiplayer?"

"... fine." _I'm going to beat you anyway._

For the first time in her life, Gaz had a decent challenge. Yeah, she won, but the kid would have beat her if she didn't know where to find the extra lives.

"Todd? Let's go eat pizza."

And they did.

Johnny sat in Devi's living room waiting for her to get back from Tenna's house. She had forgotten it at his house and he had to return it. The table next to him had a rubix cube on it, and out of boredom he started to put it together.

Outside was a tall brown haired man wearing jeans and a green t-shirt, regardless of the slightly chilly weather. He approached the nearby apartment building cheerfully.

Finally he reached the door he desired to enter and stepped inside.

He was about to call her name when he saw a man sitting on her couch. A creepy blue haired man playing with a rubix cube for whatever reason, and he had almost solved it.

_Who in the world is THAT?  
_

He glanced back at the door. When he turned back to see the man, he was gone, but the completed rubix cube lay on the couch.

"Hello?" he called in a quiet voice.

His mouth was covered by a bony hand and a knife was held to his throat. (This seems familiar...)

"If I move my hand, you will not scream and I won't kill you." The man's voice was casual, though his grip on the knife was tight and all too serious.

Ivan nodded and the hand was taken away. The knife however, remained.

"Who are you?" asked Ivan finally.

"I could ask you the same." retorted the blue haired man.

"I asked first."

"I have a knife."

"You don't have the guts to kill a person! You can probably barely hold that knife." _I wonder if bluffing is smart with this guy. He seems to have a strong hold on the situation..._

"Would you like to test that theory?" The knife pressed harder against his throat.

"I'm Ivan D. Devi's brother."

The knife dissapeared into Johnny's coat, but even without the knife he radiated and aura of annoyance and distrust. It looked like he had cherry freezy spilled on his shirt.

"Mm. A relative of Devi. I'm Johnny, but you can call me-"

Then the door creaked open, revealing Devi. She crushed Ivan behind the door, not seeing him, but seeing Johnny.

"GAH! NNY! You scared me! ... did you spill a Brainfreezy?"

He glanced down at his 'Smile! You fucker.' shirt, noticing it was stained with blood.

"Um. No. I didn't."

"Ooooh. I get it."

"You have a visitor, by the way. Behing your door. Some freakish brown haired guy. Says he's your brother."

He stepped out from behind the door, his face dripping blood.

"Er, Johnny, I hope you didn't..."

"You squished his face with your door."

Ivan twitched and stumbled forward a few steps then passed out.

"Um. Wow. How many people have passed out in this story?" Johnny said.

"What story?" Devi said suspiciously.

"No idea. I was compelled by some outside force to say it. You know the feeling?"

"Hm... now that I think about it, yeah!"

Ivan coughed and tried to get up, but only fell back down and hurt his face more.

"IVAN!" Devi forgot the conversation and rushed to his aid while Johnny looked for bactine.

The worry was short lived, however, as minutes later Ivan stood up, his head dripping wet with bactine.

"Uh, are you alright?" Devi squeaked.

Ivan glared at her. "Who is HE?"

Johnny's hand moved involuntarily towards his knives, but he forced them to his sides and remained silent.

"He's Johnny. Johnny C."

"Care to tell me why he threatened to kill me?"

"I didn't know he was your brother." Johnny interrupted, not sounding at all sorry. "Oh, and I finished your rubix cube."

"Really? I'm not very good at those." Devi said.

Ivan coughed purposefully.

"Oh. Yeah. Nny's my ex. I went over to his house yesterday and I forgot my jacket, so he came to give it back. He most likely mistook you for a robber or something."

"That doesn't explain why he carries knives around."

"He's kind of insane."

**_Hm. That guy reminds me of someone._** Eff said.

_Oh PLEASE Eff. Everyone is the same._

**Or ARE they? **cut in MEAT.

_I swear if that twighlight zone music starts..._

Johnny hallucinated the wonderful sounds of the twilight zone.

"Fucking twilight zone... you know, Eff, there's only one thing. scarier than that music coming from nowhere, and that's Jimmy."

**Chyeah! **Valley girl'd the Reverend.

_That should be added to the 'Scarier than the Twilight Zone' list._ D-boy grinned

_**Jimmy is scarier though. **_

_**I dunno, that 'chyeah' thing was pretty scary, Nailbunny.**_

**HYUK! YOU ARE TOO FUNNY EFF! **screeched Reverend MEAT disturbingly.

Johnny continued his rant, trying to erase the previous conversation from his mind. "If the loser didn't walk up to my door and admit to raping girls in my name I wouldn't have had to kill him, even though I would've killed him anyway for dressing like me and having a hideously malformed head. I still can't get those _JIMMY_ stains out of my floor, and I'm guessing I still have his intestines under my fingernails."

Ivan and Devi stared at Johnny. He wasn't paying attention, but talking angrily to someone about a guy named Jimmy.

He noticed them and glared. "What are _you_ staring at?"

"Who are _you_ talking to? And about what?" asked Ivan cockily.

"Um... Mr. Fuck." Johnny said after a long moment of awkward silence. "Oh, and the Reverend, Nailbunny, and D-Boy. About Jimmy and things scarier than the twilight zone. The Reverend is acting like a valley girl for some reason. It's weird."

Johnny examined his fingernails for traces of Jimmy. Ivan just stood in confusion while Devi opened a can of soda that happened to be lying around.

"FOOK I WAS RIGHT!"

"About what?!" Ivan yelled in terror.

"I still have some Jimmy under my nails."

_**Maybe it's just a little bit of Edgar.**_

"No, I'm sure. It's Jimmy's blood and intestines. Besides, Edgar was in that stabbin' chair, I didn't do anything but turn on the machine and talk to his stripey shirted self for a while.

"Er... I didn't say anything." Ivan pointed out.

"I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU!"

Devi sipped her soda. _They're getting along nicely._

v58dfas9uifegd

Yup. That's it. Chapter three. It's really an introductory chapter for Ivan, so it isn't too exciting. Please, hold your applause and collect your prize with the review button. We have the aformentioned Mr. Fuck along with Psycho Doughboy plushies this time! Awesome! They aren't made of styrofoam (it's rather messy) but an uncomfortable scratchy cloth. HUG THEIR SCRATCHINESS AND BE SAD! Now you can pretend to be even more crazy with your own freakish dolls. Maybe you can even stab them to your blood wall! They come with an earpiece so you can hear their creepy whispers throughout the day. JOY! Oh, and remember; I don't endorse murder. No sueing me when you're arrested. Heh. Also, I have AIM, so talk to me and I'll put you on my list. My Myspace is under construction snd is NOT under the kalilamae name, so don't search for it. BUH BAH!

! Kalila teh Mae


	4. Dinner at the Burger Spleen

And now... chapter four. Yes. Let us further explore Devi's hideously sane brother. In case you haven't figured it out yet, I usually start with a good ol' Johnny and Squee interaction flashback from before Johnny left. Today you will be blessed by a wonderful childhood memory of Devi's with her crazy protective brother, Ivan. PLUS there is way too much Invader Zim at this point now that I've added Dib and Gaz to the character list, but that won't be for long. YAY! And yes, this all new expansion features the newest JtHM doll. This time it's the Reverend.

Sorry I wasn't here for so long. I just got World of Warcraft and it pwns your ugly face. Yup. Kalilamae (known as killyoo on WoW) will now destroy you all. When I get past level 12. I literally just started.

My Myspace is under the name jonnacg as long as I'm talking about myself. I'll add you to my friends list if you ask. )

I thought this chapter was kinda confusing. Eh... just read the story.

i594pnovim5438v

**"Ivan, Ivan!" called the tiny black haired girl. She appeared to be in about the 1st grade, her hands full of drawings from class.**

**A brown haired boy, maybe ten years old, smiled happily when he saw her dash up.**

**The two embraced and he ruffled her hair when she gave him the stack of papers she carried.**

**"Hey there, Devi. How was your first day of fifth grade?"**

**"Great! I got to talk to all of my friends and... well... it wasn't that good. I don't get to see you during the day any more since you're in the middle school now..."**

**"You can still see me after school and on the weekends, Devi. Plus when summer comes I have months to play! Don't worry about it."**

**The little girl nodded and hugged her brother again, not knowing that one day she would come to loathe her brother's careful protection.**

Johnny twitched and stalked out the door, doing everything he could to hold back his rage until he got to his basement.

"Devi. Why didn't you tell me you had a retarded friend?" Ivan asked, his voice sounding dumb on account of the toilet paper stuffed in his once bloody nose.

"He's not retarded, Ivan. Not even slow. He's actually one of the smartest people I know. Just crazy." She walked over to the couch and sat down, examining the completed rubix cube.

"How long did it take him to do this?" she asked.

"About 3 minutes."

"And you call that retarded?"

"He was talking to voices!"

She sighed.

"Look, he's really nice and usually acts normal! He just gets nervous around people."

"Pff... Devi, you can't hang out with someone so unpredictable."

"You shouldn't be so quick to judge!" _Though I suppose he wouldn't like him much better if he DID know him..._

"I can already tell he's dangerous. You can't hang out with him anymore."

"I'm NOT a little kid, Ivan, I'm twenty two, so there is NOTHING you can do to stop me!"

"Yes I can. If you get anywhere near him I'll get him admitted to a crazy house."

"Sure you will." she frowned.

"I will. He might hurt you and that's a risk I won't take."

Devi knew he wasn't lying, but she wasn't about to abandon Nny now that they were finally on speaking terms again.

"Fine, fine, I'll just randomly start ignoring a mentally unstable person. That's certainly very safe."

"I'll talk to him Devi. Don't worry about it."

"Um. I don't think that's the best idea..."

"But I do. Meaning that's the one we're using."

Devi sighed, fearing for her brother's life. "No we aren't. Do you really think that telling a homoci- a crazy person that he can't talk to his only friend anymore is the best idea?"

"Unless you have a better one."

"Well... I'll have him visit so you can meet him properly." _Shit! What am I saying?!_

"But if he's bad you can't talk to him anymore and I'll get him professional help."

"Okay." _Oh gawd. What have I gotten myself into?_

Johnny walked away from the building angrily until someone tripped him on purpose.

"Why did you do that?" he asked in a low voice, his breathing already shallow and uneven.

"'Cause your hair is blue."

"SO?"

"It's weird, dude."

"I'LL SHOW YOU WEIRD DAMMIT!"

He dragged the guy to his basement where obvious occurences ensued until his phone rang.

"What do you want?" he growled into the phone, annoyed at being pulled away from his victim.

"Hey Nny! It's me, Devi." Ivan was in the room with her listening to the conversation on speaker phone.

"Oh. Hi."

"I was wondering if you wanted to come over for dinner so you could meet my brother properly. I think you scared him."

"Yeeah... I tend to have that sort of effect on people. I hope you don't mind that I finished your rubix cube."

"That's ok, Nny. I've been trying for the last three days to get it done."

"Really? They're pretty easy."

A scream emitted from the guy who tripped him.

"What was THAT?" Ivan blurted out.

"Why is HE listening to our conversation?" Nny said, hatred obvious in his voice.

"He just happened to walk into the room, why don't you turn down the volume on your TV?"

"TV? Oh. Yeah. I'll do that."

About 30 seconds later Johnny was heard screeching, "SHUT THE FUCK UP LOSER! I MEAN SERIOUSLY, I'M TALKING ON THE PHONE AND ALL YOU CAN DO IS WHINE ABOUT THE HAMMERS SHOVED IN YOUR EYE SOCKETS!"

Some sickening squelching noises were heard and all was quiet before the light tap of Johnny picking the phone back up resounded through the silence.

"You were saying?"

Ivan stared at the phone in horror while Devi went on as if nothing had happened.

"You wanna come to dinner to meet my brother?"

"Depends. When and where."

"Eh, tonight, Burger Spleen Corral."

"The steak food place? Okay."

"Oh and Nny? See if Todd wants to come."

"Alright. Bye."

"Bye."

_Looks like I need to find Squeegee._

Ten minutes later Johnny was standing behind the big headed kid who was reading _Person_ magazine.

"Oh look." said the big headed kid to himself, "A sale at the Old Gravy Strip Club and Shopping Centre. What a lame ad. 'Get your fash' off.'"

"Hey, big headed kid, where's Squee?"

"What? You mean Todd? He's at my house."

A page of directions later, Johnny stood behind the youngest Casil and a purple haired girl who seemed to have a permanant scowl.

She was drinking milk.

"Heya Squeegee."

"SQUEE!"

"Who the hell are you?" Gaz frowned, finishing her milk. (A/N: No. There was not any reason for her to have milk.)

"I'm Johnny, but you can call me Nny. Now Squee, do you want to come to the Burger Spleen Corral for dinner with me and Devi tonight? We're meeting her brother. You can bring your friend if you want."

Squee glanced at Gaz and she nodded her approval.

"Sure Mr. Scary Neighbor Man, just try not to be all killy. Please."

"Okie dokie Squee. What's your friends name if I may ask?"

"Gaz." she said.

"Alrighty then. See ya Squee. You too, Gaz."

Not too far away, Ivan glared at his sister. "Devi. What exactly is wrong with this guy?"

"Ask him yourself at dinner." she stuck her tongue out and shooed him out of her apartment.

_I really hope Nny doesn't kill him..._

Later at the Burger Spleen Corral-

Devi and Ivan walked in to see Johnny standing idly with two children, one Devi recognized quickly as Todd and a scary little girl with a Game Slave 2 she had never seen before.

"Hello Devi lady!" greeted Todd. "This is my friend Gaz."

Gaz made a small sound of acknowledgement.

"Nice to meet you." Devi said. "Todd, this is my brother Ivan."

Todd squee'd quietly and waved.

Finally everyone knew everyone's names, though Johnny had been staring at the ceiling the whole time, his arms crossed in what seemed to be annoyance.

"Hey ya'll! I'ma be your serveress tanight!" She obviously wasn't from the south and wore way too much makeup.

_God, no..._ Johnny thought, trying to hold back his terrible hate.

"That's, uh, wonderful." Devi smiled.

"YEP! Now let's see if I can't be gettin' ya'll some sittin' seats!"

Everyone (Nny included) followed her to their table.

"Watcha wanna be drinking?!"

"Diet Poop." Ivan said.

"Vanilla Poop." Devi said.

"Classic Poop for me and Todd." Gaz said, motioning towards the little boy.

"Cherry Fizz-Wizz." Johnny said with slight disgust towards the waitress's fake accent.

"We're fresh outta Fizzin' Wizz."

"Uh... Cherry Brainfreezy?"

"HYUK! OKAY! I'm gonna go now!"

Johnny's teeth were crushed together in rage.

If you looked carefully you could see a bit of enamel dust float away from his mouth.

"Mr. S-scary Neighbor Man sir? Are you alright?" I am sad if you can't guess who said that.

"Fine." he growled.

"So..." Ivan said to Nny, attempting to start conversation, "How long have you all known eachother?"

"Devi, a bit more than a year or something, Squee, as long as I can remember, Gaz, three hours." Johnny recited.

"Ah. You like rubix cubes?"

He nodded. "They're easy, though. Sometimes too easy."

"Is that why all ten rubix cubes I own are solved?" Squee asked.

"Yup."

"Any family?" Ivan said, wanting to know more about Nny.

Johnny's stared at the badly stained table and said nothing.

Then the serveress appeared! The gargled sound of melting hippoes heralded her approach and when she arrived she dropped in front of Nny the essence of perfection: The Brainfreezy.

All signs of his depressed mood faded as he joyfully slurped his slush.

After all drink were distributed the serveress left.

Ivan continued his interrogation. "How long have you lived in the area?"

"Hm... I dunno."

"A-about two years, Mr. Scary Neighbor Man." Squee chimed in.

"Oh yeah... I came looking for bactine at your house didn't I? And your psycho teddy bear was there, too!"

"Shmee, right?" Devi added pointlessly.

Squee frowned at this, remembering the severe injury Shmee recieved.

"About that, Mr. Neighbor Man... could you maybe... n-not stab my stuff?"

"I don't see why not. As long as that damn bear doesn't lie to me anymore."

"Okay..."

"Aaaanyway, Johnny. Are you insane?" Ivan cut in.

"That question is a bit silly, don't you think? Sanity is sort of relative to person's opinion of normality. But on general terms, yes, I am out of my fucking mind." Johnny answered calmly, though he was catching on to Ivan's plan.

_He wants to get me locked up, the bastard! I should've guessed he didn't like me after I threatened his life..._

"And what has led you to this conclusion?" Ivan pressed on.

"Hey, look, the serveress is here!" Devi interrupted.

"Wuz you guy's orders, eeeh?" Serveress asked.

"I'll just have a salad." Devi smiled.

"Nothing for me..." Johnny... Johnny'd.

"M-macaroni and cheese!" Squee squeaked.

"Pizza." Gaz snarled.

"Chicken meats." said Ivan, causing a man and his chicken bride to leave their table in a huff, their many chicks following in suit.

"ALRIGHTY THEN!" screamed a Jim Carrey voice over.

Serveress then took her leave, though Johnny clutched his steak knife a tad tighter than most would.

"That woman is INFURIATING." growled Nny.

"I thought she was nice." said a freakish robot that popped up on Gaz's head.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT GREEN DOG DOING ON YOUR HEAD!" Johnny screamed.

"Gir... go away." Gaz said.

"But Gazzy! Master was screaming all crazy like and he make me saaad..."

"GIR. Go away right now before I plunge you into eternal torment."

"Eternal torment? My fav-o-reet!"

Gaz glared at him.

"Aaaw... does Gazzy need a huuug?"

"No. But Dib needs a hug."

"Dib? The crazy large head boy? Master doesn't like him. I think I'll give him a TASTY MUFFIN!"

Gir ran away.

No one said anything. Annoyingly, the retaurant intercom starting playing... the Twilight Zone music.

This ended abruptly when Johnny's perfect aim landed a knife deep in the speaker system.

"God damn song follows me fucking EVERYWHERE." Johnny muttered.

"Um..." Ivan slowly choked out, sweating.

_Fuck! I knew I shouldn't have gone to dinner with a psycho! He could kill us all easily with THAT aim._

"WOW! Could you teach me to do that?!" Gaz spazzed.

"Okie dokie."

Again, awkward silence ensued.

"Boy do I love cats!" Ivan said, attempting to break the silence.

"I'm allergic to cats." Johnny said in an even voice.

"Man, you gotta like those Dallas cheerleaders."

"Cheerleaders are the spawn of Satan. I hate them. So much."

This continued (Ivan attempting to talk and Nny destroying all hope of everyone speaking) until serveress came back, food in hand.

AND SO THEY ATE.

Or at least most of them. Johnny just slurped his freezy morosely, pondering all the horrors of the earth.

_That Ivan guy... I don't like him. He wants to get rid of me, I can tell! Plus I can't kill him since Devi and Squee are around... All I can do is hope I don't lose my temper. _

At this he wedged his fork deeply into the table.

"I think... I'm going to leave." Johnny said before standing up and striding out of the restaurant.

Squee and Devi breathed audible sighs of relief as he departed.

"Devi. Johnny is a lunatic." Ivan said gravely.

"Well duh. But you aren't putting him in a crazy house." Devi snapped.

"C-crazy house? You mean the Defective Head Meats Institute?!" Squee squealed in terror. "They poked my head in that place and stuck stuff in me and made me take TESTS! You can't send Scary Neighbor Man there!"

"Watch me." said Ivan fiercely, pulling out his tacky cell phone.

"What did he ever do to you?" Gaz asked.

"He threatened me! With knives!"

"Um... so?" Squee said. "He does that all the time."

"At least he wasn't seriously trying to kill you." said Devi.

"YOU'RE ALL CRAZY!"

"Calm down, Ivan! We're in a restaurant."

"A restaurant? What kind of town calls their restaurants 'Burger Spleen'?"

"This one, duh." Gaz said.

"Devi, you've moved into a fucking psycho town! Everyone here is out of their MIND."

Dib was curled up in Todd's bed, terrified. Todd's dad was abusive and his mom was a druggie and his house was haunted and his neighbor was crazy and... he couldn't take it anymore.

"I wanna go home..." he whimpered. "Back to my evil sister and forgetful dad and weird green dog/robots and midget hobos that rob banks and brainwashing ice cream trucks."

Johnny grabbed the waitress lady before setting off for home.

When he finally reached his preeeciooous basement he chained her into the doorbell device and went upstairs to watch tv.

"Ooh. Criminal Minds is on." he said quietly as the tv flashed the words CRIMINAL MINDS in bloody letters.

A military looking man stood on screen.

_You see, there are different typeees of criminals. Theres thieves, drug dealers, killers, and teenagers. Today we will discuss the brain thoughts of killers._

_Killers like to kill people and seem to enjoy seeing blood.  
_

"Blood? Ew, no. Especially when I have to clean it up." Johnny said to himself. _  
_

_For example, there is this one dumpy city where people are just DYIN' ALL OVAH THE PLACE! Police have no leads though the killer has been sighted on many occasions. Now I'm wondering, how in the hell do they see him and not catch him? Here we have on policeman who claims to have been at the scene of one of the accidents._

A guy in police attire walks on screen. Both of his arms are in casts and his blonde hair is permanently stained a dull brown.

_He was... awful. Just afwul! He was like a blur of black and everywhere I looked there was red and the shine of his weapon; a bag of potato chips. He killed my whole squad and everyone in the Wally-World Supermarket with a bag of FUCKING CHIPS, man! He just killed all of us but me! And he said that... that I was only alive because I was wearing a Beethoven shirt. And I was. And I'm alive. It was so scary... _

The policeman twitched violently and started vomiting blood all over the place. A bunch of paramedics rushed him out of the scene.

_There you have it, people. They don't catch them because he kills them, too._

_Tune in next week for the scariest of crime commiters! TEENAGERS!_

"They don't catch me because I can't be caught. I can never be caught. Ever." Nny whispered in his creepy voice.

vn5843902v58

AH... What a wonderful chapter that was. AND NOW FOR YOUR REWARD INFO:That's right folks! REVEREND MEAT! Everyone's favorite burger boy! Similar in design to the Big Boy's (home of the double decker :P) burger boy, Reverend MEAT comes with crazy shiny hair and a sinister smile filled with meaty evil. Yes, the real burger boy actually looks like Reverend MEAT. I'm not kidding, because I swear I walked into a Big Boy's and there was this HUGE plastic burger boy like... eight feet tall smilin' all creepy like and I'm all, "Dude, Reverend MEAT!" and my mom is all, "What are you talking about?" and then I'm all, "Platypus." Since she don't know I read JtHM. Oh, and no offense with the waitress. I'm southern myself, I wasn't making fun of the accent. ! Kalilamae


	5. This is chapter

LifL: Now with longer intros! Delve deeper into Johnny's impending psychological help provided by no other than Mr. Bastard himself... IVAN! I used two vocab words in that sentence. Try and guess which two are it! Before rumors of a SICKENING sequel arise I'd like to say I will probably write one. The reason for the story being Devi/Nny is so that I may have a sequel. OH! And I have my literacy back. Mmyep. Your review prize is an Ivan plush this time. Go read now.

b5423bv53b345b**  
**

**It was dark outside, and a cold rain fell heavily, temporarily cleansing the filthy street.**

**On this filthy street walked a very tall man.**

**To the rain and the state of all consuming blackness of night he paid no heed.**

**That was his goal. His reason for traveling down the dirt caked cement of a city he had never been to before.**

**To not pay any attention to the overwhelming stupidity of all those around him and go on with no emotion.**

**It was a strange goal, but to him that night was stranger.**

**The few passersby didn't cast him the usual condescending stares, but occasional nervous glances wrought with fear.**

**It was... different. Were they smarter? No...**

**Perhaps this place wasn't under the affect of the curse permanently cast upon him.**

**The idea gave him optimism, but he quickly banished the feeling.**

**These people were no different.**

**They would never accept him, and certainly he would never accept them.**

**Sure, a few people had. The little neighbor boy had done his best to accept the tall man, but even as he laughed alongside him he could see terror somewhere in his wide eyes.**

**Then there was the woman. She had put her full trust in him, unknowing of his hobby. But he destroyed it, shattered it... and his hobby- his hobby!- was to blame.**

**Finally he came upon a bench, rusted and as filthy as the road had been, though certainly more comfortable.**

**The tall man sat down on it, hating that he had to rest. **

**"I really need a Brainfreezy..." he mumbled as he forced himself to stay awake.**

"Hey. Yeah, you! With the big head!"

Dib looked up and saw the ghost from earlier.

"My head isn't big."

"Yes it is. Anyway, there was this kid here earlier who gave those Tim and Cass people some tea. They both died and-"

"Wait, they were dead anyway!"

"I don't care. They still died. Either way, don't accept anything from a girl named-" The ghosts eyes widened to Squee size eyes and twitched madly before she fell over, screaming and foaming at the mouth.

"Ergh... I guess ghosts _can _die..."

"Heya there Mr. Biggy Head!"

"What?!" Dib turned around only to face yet another clearly dead girl. You people probably know where this is going, but you'll never see her again in the story.

"I said, 'Heya there Mr. Biggy Head,'."

"Okay... um, who are you?"

"Lenore. Didn't Tim and Cass tell you that?"

"No. They said they were going to warn me about some horrible danger then left and got killed."

"Oh. Ya wanna cookie?"

_Didn't that other girl say not to accept things from a little girl? _"Sure! I love cookies!"

He bit into the warm chocolate chip cookie. _Warm? She just pulled it out of her pocket! The chocolate chips are still chip shaped! What's going on?_

"It's evil chocolate chip. Do you like it?"_  
_

"Delicious."

Suddenly he erupted into a violent coughing fit.

"They said you'd be like Mr. Gosh. Since you're alive I can get rid of you."

"H-help!" he choked out.

"I can't do that, Mr. Biggy Head. I can't have another Mr. Gosh."

A weird stuffed animal walked into the room.

"Lenore! What are you doing?! That's not the guy I was talking about!"

"It isn't?"

"No."

"Ooh... sorry Mr. Biggy Head." She showed no remorse at all as she walked out the door.

Dib died with a lung covered in acid burns spewing from his throat and landing halfway across the room.

Johnny ranted quietly to himself before starting towards the door to his basement.

This however, was unwise, because in his current state of pure madness he tripped over a bloody limb of some sort and hit his head on a badly placed chair, causing his immediate transport into the dark and slightly squishy realm of unconsciousness. In this realm reside the wonderful thoughts of Nny, all of which garter some sort of significance in the story but will not be discussed for reasons unknown to you all.

Far away GIR rushed over to Dib and dropped a muffin on him. "HAVE A TASTY MUFFIN CRAZY LARGE HEAD BOY!!!" Then he exploded, the shrapnel destroying Dib's corpse and the deelishush m00fin. (A/N: Everyone remember the double zero fad? Aaah... those were the days... zeroes replaced the letter 'u'. Y00p.)

Even farther away, Ivan ran screaming out of the Burger Spleen Corral. Once he felt he was a significant distance away (across the street) he pulled out his cell phone.

"I need to save Devi from that guy!" he quickly dialed the DHMI. "Hello? May I admit a person?"

"Sure you can! Have him over here tomorrow and we can give him the crazy test!"

As he hung up, Gaz, Devi, and Squee caught up with him.

"Ivan!" called Devi angrily.

"It's okay, Devi. I just need to find him so I can apologize..."

"Are we going to th-the neighbor man's house?"

"Yes. We are." Ivan said, an idea already forming in his mind.

Devi led the way to Johnny's house. The group followed steadily behind her, but they all went for different reasons.

Squee was terrified of what awaited at Johnny's pathetic shack, but came because he actually tried to be a friend to him, a rare occurrence in the life of Todd Casil.

Devi... she wasn't sure why. Part of her wanted to help her brother, but another part of her was infuriated with Ivan and wanted nothing more than Nny's company.

Gaz honestly had nothing better to do than follow Todd around at the time.

Ivan though, had a sinister plan. A plan to put Johnny in the DHMI and free Devi from his cruel treatment.

"Here we are." Devi finally said, standing on the sidewalk next to his house.

The group started to walk in together, but Ivan stopped them.

"Could I say I'm sorry by myself?" Ivan asked quietly, pretending to be embarrassed.

"Sure." smiled Devi, happy with the fact he was apologizing at all.

"You guys go on. It may be a while."

"I-I don't think that's a g-good plan..." Squee stuttered, thinking of the danger Ivan would be in.

"Nah, it's alright! Don't worry about me." He smiled and strutted up to the entrance and the others began to walk away nervously.

Ivan walked confidently through the slightly rotted wood door, but upon entry his confidence disappeared.

The walls were all cracked and had all sorts of colorful splotches derived from unknown sources. The floor was primarily dusty wood, but the few visible dried bloodstains stood out.

The main room was basically empty save a TV, a couch, a nasty lamp, and a desk with picture of a creepy noodle beast on it.

A cockroach skittered past him as he glanced into the kitchen. Holes in the walls, rusty cooking equipment. All of it crap.

Not only that, but the whole building seem to be scattered with weapons of all types.

It wasn't long before Ivan stumbled upon the still form of Johnny.

He picked Johnny's spindly form carefully and proceeded to carry him to everyone's most hated mental institution.

Upon arrival at the Defective Head Meats Institute he walked up to the receptionist.

"Could I have someone admitted?" He asked.

"Eh? Oh. Do you have an appointment?"

"... no."

"Excellent! Dr. Diputs will see you now!"

The next morning...

"What the fuck happened..." Johnny moaned, sitting up on a surprisingly soft surface.

It was at this moment that he realized that the surprisingly soft surface was a white fluffy floor.

Around him, the walls and ceiling seemed to made of a similar material.

Even the single doorknob in the room was covered in comfortable padding.

It didn't take him long to figure out exactly where he was; an insane asylum.

Johnny tried to grab open the door only to discover that not only was he in a padded room, but he was in a straight jacket. And this simply wouldn't do.

"GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" he screeched with rage.

A man walked in dressed in a long doctor's coat.

There was a huge smile plastered on his face.

"Everything will be just fine, Johnny."

"Who put me in here?" Nny growled, his teeth grinding together.

"A fine young man by the name of Ivan D. brought you here, fearing for your health."

"That BASTARD!"

"Now, now, try and contain yourself, Johnny. I'm Dr. Diputs. How would you like to come out of solitary confinement?"

"Get me out or I'll kill you..."

"You really can't do that in your current situation," he gestured to Nny's garb, "Now come on. You get to hang out with the other patients."

_There is NO way that I'm staying in here for long...  
_

"Um... doctor. Where is my STUFF?"

"Like your boots and everything? Haha, we put those in the closet! Don't worry, we didn't go through it and get your bank numbers or anything. Follow me."

Johnny allowed himself to be led to another room, already plotting the demise of Ivan.

Far away, Squee and Gaz sat in Devi's kitchen. They all were awaiting the return of Ivan, wondering if he survived.

Just as Devi was getting ready to call Johnny, Ivan sauntered through the doorway.

"I'm back, everyone!"

"What d-did Mr. Scary Neighbor Man say?" Squee asked quietly.

"Oh, um... you see, he said that he forgives me."

One problem Ivan had was that he didn't know Johnny as the unforgiving murderous soul that he was. He thought Johnny was a slightly strange weirdo who was partial to knives, but was otherwise normal.

"What?!" Squee squeaked.

"Ivan, what _really_ happened?" Devi said irritably.

"I had him admitted to the Defective Brain Meats Institute..."

Gaz, who had been otherwise silent, glared at Ivan. "Why?"

"Because he's insane!"

"I-Ivan, sir, do you know wh-what kind of danger y-you've put yourself a-a-and the asylum peoples in?" Todd said nervously, biting his lower lip.

"He can't get out. He's in a straight jacket."

"IVAN. You don't know Johnny that well! He WILL get out and he WILL kill you and everyone in that building no matter what!"

"Geez, Devi, have some faith in the people. They'll tranquilize him and have him locked up."

"You d-don't understand..." Squee spoke up, "No one can't stop Scary Neighbor Man, Ivan sir. It doesn't t-take much to set him off, but once h-he's mad there's really nothing you can do."

"That's ridiculous, Todd. He's only human."

"... kinda..."

Devi was confused. "What?"

"I was walkin' to his house one day. Shmee said not to go near it, but I had to get my backpack out of there since I left it wh-when I went over for lunch the d-day before. Before I got to the door, I looked in the window t-to make sure he was around. I dunno what it was, but I h-heard a gun go off and..." Squee stared down at the ground, "He never uses guns on other people. S-so I went inside to make sure he was okay. Shmee insisted that I go home, b-but I didn't want him to be hurt and me not help. I found him w-with a huge hole in his head! Blood was everywhere a-and he was dead."

"Todd, Johnny is ALIVE." Ivan deadpanned.

"NOW he is! H-he showed up at my house a few days later with a tiny band-aid on his head and a weird haircut. He c-complained bout bagels and told a story sayin' he could explode heads with his mind. I dunno how he was alive cuz a few days ago a th-third of his head was gone!"

Little did they know, Squee was right. He wouldn't stand staying there for too long.

He curled himself against the crumbling plaster wall, glancing around at the other people in the room. Very few of them were actually insane, as Johnny could clearly see.

"Hey, Sam, you wanna pass me that cup?" asked some blonde haired dude.

"Sorry man, I'm in a straight jacket remember? Ooh, look guys!" he pointed at Johnny, "We've got a new one!"

Everyone in the room turned to him.

"Hi there!"

"What's your name?"

"Why are you here?"

His mood turned for the better after realizing that these people weren't bastards.

"I'm Johnny, but you can call me Nny." He grinned crazily.

"Righto." said Sam. "Are you actually crazy or were you just thrown in here?"

"Eh... both. I don't plan on staying here long."

"Someone picking you up?"

"No."

"You're gonna try and break out? Only three guys have ever escaped this place! Not that anybody minded that Larry left, but you know. It's almost impossible to escape."

"I'll be a fourth." Johnny growled.

"Nny... seriously man. I don't know you at all, but I don't think you can escape an asylum."

Johnny had already stood up, trying to hold in his slowly mounting anger. "Where do they put our stuff?"

"In that closet over there. Why?"

Johnny easily slid his ridiculously skinny form out of his straight jacket, revealing his 'Kiss me, I'm insane' shirt.

He then opened the closet to retrieve his coat, boots, and backpack. He put his awesome boots and coat on.

"Look, Sam was it? I already said I don't plan on staying here long, and I meant it." he pulled a few knives out of his backpack and put the aforementioned bag on his back. "I don't recommend getting in my way."

"Oh shit..." whispered Sam, backing towards the wall. "Guys, we've got another one! Back up!"

Johnny turned and glared at the mass of supposed psychos. "Another what?"

"An actually crazy person. Like Larry. Well, he wasn't a person, per se..."

"Sure. Whatever. I have a hospital to break out of." Johnny twitched.

"Yeah... have fun with that."

"I will."

bviureionbwe442

Yep! That was the chapter. Love it. OR ELSE. You may have noticed a reference in there. Muffins for anyone who knows what it's from! Your Ivan plush will come equipped with greasy hair and a fake smile! YAY! This chapter was a tad shorter than usual, but it was for the sake of the ending. I like that ending. Ok, leave now.


	6. Return of the Nny

And now I return with... chapter 6. I'm givin' out little Shmees to my reviewers. Enjoy.

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**The tiny boy looked out his window, his signature look of fear plastered on his face.**

**"Where do you think he went?" he whispered quietly to his horribly mutilated teddy bear.**

**The bear's grin seemed even more sinister as he answered. "Wherever crazy people go, I guess. Don't be upset, it's good that he left. He can't scare you anymore. He can't say bad things to you or hurt anyone."**

**The boy glanced at his neighbor's former home. What would become of it? Were there people left in the scary basement of his?**

**He the turned to look at his bear. "A-are you sure it's good he w-went away?"**

**"Of course. When have I been wrong?"**

**The boy could easily think of at least three times his friend had been wrong, but decided against speaking.**

**"Now then. You should go burn down his house."**

**"W-what?! Ooh, silly, I couldn't do that. It could catch other peoples' houses on fire. Besides, what if he comes back?"**

**"Hm. Let's hope he doesn't."**

**The little boy stared down at his shoes, thinking about what would happen without his neighbor to protect him.**

**He had always been nice to him even if he wasn't too good at being nice.**

**He even had kept him fed when daddy starved him!**

**What would he do now? **

**"Squee..."**

"Todd... if what you're saying is true, we need to do something." Devi said sternly.

"We can't." Squee said."

"Why not?" Ivan growled.

"Hey, don't get mad at him! It's all your fault anyway."

"Yeah right. Johnny is probably completely harmless. He's just a little messed up. He'll probably be out of there after a month of therapy."

Devi and Todd exchanged glances.

"Um... about that Ivan... Johnny is a homicidal maniac."

Far away, Nny kicked the door down and stepped into the hospital hallway, a knife in each hand.

"Hey! You can't do that!" called a nearby nurse.

"Yes I can."

"No you can't, you skinny idiot! Get back in there."

Johnny's anger rose quickly and he ran one of the knives through the woman's throat before she even had the chance to scream, blood exploding from the wound.

A smile widened on his face as he glared down at the corpse. "I'm not an idiot."

The crowd behind him led by Sam could only stare.

He continued through the hallway, meeting little resistance from the staff. The hospital had fallen into panic, workers screaming and running around in the most ridiculous manner. A stomach ruptured, a head fallen, a bleeding heart... he cut them down casually, almost contentedly, as he traveled towards the entrance.

Sam and his followers trailed him, careful not to get in his path.

That is, until ONE of them made a comment about how stupid Johnny's hair looked.

"I mean theriouthly. What a _faggot_." lisped the man. (I wonder what jerk put an 's' in the word lisp?)

Nny stopped in his tracks and turned around to face the group.

"Who said that?"

No one uttered so much as a word.

"Process of elimination, then." he smiled.

He started to pick them off. None of them caught on to the fact that he wanted one of them to admit the deed, and they all scattered, Sam hiding under the front desk.

Soon all were dead but Sam, each of them killed in horribly original ways; the many miscellaneous items in the hospital were helpful. Needles, electric therapy chairs, dangerous drugs, and items that could easily melt human skin. Johnny utilized them all.

An amazing thing about Johnny was his creativity. Johnny was _very_ creative.

Most people couldn't appreciate that sort of thing.

But Sam did. He was terrified of course, but at the same time intrigued by Johnny's mind.

Before being put in the Defective Brain Meats Institute, Sam was that guy that stood in the street collecting money for orphans.

He was ridiculously kind and could find the good in anyone, but at the same time was very earnest and down to earth.

He quickly realized that Johnny killed based on anger and decided that once he calmed down he could go out and talk to him.

In the meantime he would cower pathetically under a bloodstained desk, listening helplessly to the screams of agony and the sadistic laughter resonating through the building.

"He's a WHAT?" Ivan shrieked. (I want you all to imagine a grown man shrieking)

"Yeah... he kills people." Squee said.

"That is SO cool." Gaz grinned.

"He isn't going to hurt me, Todd, or Gaz..." Devi added.

"What about me?" Ivan said in a squeaky voice.

"He's gonna hunt you dooo-oown!" Gaz sang gleefully.

Ivan forced himself not to worry. _They're probably just mad at me for putting him in that place..._

"Right." Devi said. "We need to go pick up Johnny from the Institute."

Gaz, Squee, and Devi went outside and got into Ivan's ugly brown car, leaving him alone in Devi's apartment where he took it upon himself take a nap only to find he couldn't sleep.

"Get a hold of yourself Ivan." he said under his breath. "There's no way that Devi would hang out with a crazed killer. She must be joking."

But he still worried.

He tried to recall Johnny's house.

_A bit run down... stained floors... random dangerous objects scattered about... a statue of a freakish stick figure... jeez, he's weird, but there's no proof that he kills people._

So he went back to investigate.

"So, um, D-devi lady... just what are w-we doing?" Todd asked from the back seat, Shmee clutched tightly in his grip.

Gaz looked up from her GS2 screen, seated quietly in the seat next to him. She was undeniably curious as well.

"Going to get Nny, of course." Devi said. "If everyone there isn't already dead, we could help them. Plus I don't want him to have to walk all the way back home."

She sighed. _My morals are SO dead._

"Oh." said Todd.

He looked down at the bear in his arms.

"NO Shmee. That's ridiculous. Burning down an asylum... We can't do that."

Meeeaaanwhiiiile...

Johnny grabbed Dr. Diputs and slammed him against the wall.

"And YOU! You goddamned stupid doctor! Admitting perfectly healthy people into this facility! What is your PROBLEM?"

Dr. Diputs tried to answer, but ended up making a pathetic squeaking sound.

"I thought so."

He was dispatched of with a napalm injection to the eye. Don't ask about how or why the napalm was in the syringe, it just was.

Regardless, with everyone but Sam dead, he sat down in an uncomfortable hospital chair and started to wipe the blood from his knives.

"Um, Johnny?" Sam called, seeing the aforementioned skinny man sitting by himself.

"Sam. That hiding place is honestly pathetic."

"Um..."

"I saw you there the entire time."

"So you don't want to kill me?"

"I know you don't have a lisp."

"Mm. That makes sense." He climbed out from behind the desk as Johnny put his knives back into his bag. "So I guess you weren't kidding about escaping?"

"I wasn't."

"Are you hungry?"

"I don't want to eat."

"... right. Thirsty?" Sam clearly was trying to get onto a safe topic.

Johnny stood up and started to walk out the door, Sam skittering after him to avoid blame for the murders.

It just so happened that Devi drove up to the DHMI as they stepped out the door.

Johnny looked at Devi while Sam just stood alongside him in a rather confused and awkward manner.

They all stayed like this for a reasonable amount of time before Johnny determined he would get in the car.

He got in the front seat and instructed him to get into the back with Todd and Gaz.

"Um... Nny, who is that?" Devi asked.

"Sam." Johnny said.

Sam waved, careful not to bother the scary little girl next to him.

"H-hi... I'm Todd." Todd managed, hugging Shmee even tighter when he saw the blood staining Johnny's clothes.

"Hm. Gaz." Gaz hm'd.

"Right." Devi said, her voice suddenly going shy. "Johnny... are you going to have to go after Ivan?"

He didn't answer. He stared out the window, his eye twitching.

"Ivan? That's the guy that had you admitted." Sam pointed out, most unhelpfully.

Johnny continued to stare out the window.

"Aaanywaay... I'll drive you to your house, Nny."

Johnny opened his mouth to protest but she interrupted. "It's too far for you to walk, and we can stop by the 24/7."

He ignored the interruption. "I'll pay." he said quietly.

Even though it was around midnight by this point, they drove to the 24/7 in Ivan's ugly brown car.

Johnny walked in alone by his request. He recognized the cashier as a kid who gave him some flowers on Tuesday last week.

He filled a SUCK! cup for each of them and brought them to the register.

"Hey there, sir! We're having a sale, so one of those is free."

"Thanks."

"Yup! You can also get a Chick-a-Lick Taquito for an extra dime." grinned the cheerful boy. (A/N: Taquitos are delicious.)

Johnny agreed to get a taquito for the often starving Squee and payed for his stuff.

Devi looked relieved to see he hadn't killed anyone in the store.

"Here Squeegee. I got you a taquito."

Todd took the taquito and his Brainfreezy gratefully. Daddy hadn't fed him for about 3 days.

He distributed the rest of the Freezies quickly and started to drink his own, humming a happy little tune.

They all sat quietly, nothing but the slurping of slush and Nny's humming to break through the silence.

Finally they ended up at Johnny's house-like building.

He waved cheerfully before getting out of the car and walking inside.

"Johnny's... different." Sam said.

"Yeah." said Devi.

"Did you know he slaughtered everyone but me in the Defective Head Meats Institute?"

"I guessed as much. You seem to be handling it well."

"I lived in an asylum, ma'am. He managed to hum a happy tune after killing so many... That's odd."

"H-he thinks they deserve it." Todd said. "It's not l-like he's killing innocents in h-his opinion. Scary Neighbor Man just s-sees things diff'rent than we do."

"Hm. I guess his point of view_ would_ be a bit different."

Johnny was in sad excuse for a living room, slowly drinking his freezy.

Aside from being trapped in an asylum his day was pretty good. So good, in fact, that he walked down into his basement with a smile on his face and a knife in his hand.

Devi arrived at her home only to see that Ivan wasn't there and that she was stuck with this guy named Sam and two children. Sam, as Devi saw, was clumsy, with messy blonde hair and a straight jacket.

"So... what exactly do I do now?" Sam asked.

"I have no idea. I'm gonna go and paint. If you get into the fridge leave the milk alone. It's old. Watch the kids, ok?"

"Are they yours?"

Devi held back a laugh. "Hell, no. That's Nny's neighbor and his friend."

"Right. Could you maybe... I dunno, unbuckle my arms?"

Devi complied and skittered off to paint in the dark solace of that place with her paints.

Sam walked cheerfully into the area with the couch in it, the long sleeves of his jacket now swinging jovially as he moved.

Todd stared at him with a look of fear and Gaz stared down at her GS2.

"Who's ready for some FOOD!" Sam grinned.

"Pizza." Gaz growled.

"And for yoooou, Todd?"

"I-I'd like pizza, too..." he shifted nervously towards Gaz who moved away in turn, eventually ending with the two of them squished on one end of the cheap chair.

"Alright. You're getting plain cheese since I don't have much money."

Sam hopped off to order a pizza, leaving the two kids alone.

"Do y-you mind if I turn on the TV?" Todd squeaked.

"I don't care."

"O-ok. Sorry to bother you."

"You didn't."

"Oh."

Squee picked up the remote and turned the TV on. It was some strange show featuring giggling blobs of Jello and obnoxious techno music looping in the background.

"WE'LL BE BACK AFTER THESE -beeep- MESSAGES!" screeched one of the Jello blobs.

Far away, Ivan rang Nny's doorbell. When no one answered, he walked right in, sure that Johnny hadn't escaped the asylum.

Little did he know, Johnny was in the depths of his basement, smirking as he worked on yet another of his horrible machines.

(A/N: It isn't canon that he builds all of them... but I'm assuming he does in this story. So NYEH.)

He was skilled as an engineer. He couldn't, of course, remember actually learning any of it, and passed it off as a natural skill as he had with painting.

This particular one was designed to remove all skin from the victim without actually making them bleed or die, leaving them alive but with... no skin. Duh.

It hadn't been tested and he was attaching the final bolt to it when he heard his doorbell scream in agony.

Nny's teeth ground together angrily and he quietly started his climb up the stairs, leaving his Freezy alongside his tools.

Ivan was walking around nervously, seeing the things he hadn't noticed last time. The stain was blood. There were not only weapons, but USED weapons and the occasional piece of a person.

_Oh my gawd... he really IS crazy! What if he gets out and hunts me down? What if he catches me here?! Is Devi crazy? Has he hurt her?! That bastard!_

Ivan heard the soft footsteps too late.

He felt a bony gloved hand get a grip on the back of his neck.

"What are you doing here?" asked the man behind him.

"J-just looking around!"

"Really? I'd like to show you something, Ivan."

"Johnny?!"

"Come on. It's not like you get a choice. Into the spooky basement with you."

"Um... Johnny? Nny? No hard feelings about the whole Defective Brain Meats Institute thing, right?"

"No. I also hate you since you tried to keep Devi away from me."

"Why wouldn't I?! You're fucking insane!"

"You tried to get rid of me before you knew that."

"Well-"

"Stop talking."

"Ok."

"You disliked me since I dress darkly and because I'm more cautious about people walking into the houses of my friends."

"You've got to admit that threatening me with a knife was a bit over the top."

"No I don't. Mainly because I have another one."

Johnny demonstrated this by poking him in the back with it as he led him down the staircase.

"I'd like to try something out, Ivan. I think you can help."

"Hehe, really? What if I refuse?" sweat was dripping down his face, betraying how he was really feeling about the whole situation.

Nny poked him in the back a bit harder, drawing a drop of blood.

"Um... I guess I can help."

"Good." Johnny led him to his newest machine. "Just go and sit in that chair."

"But there's hooks all around it?"

"SIT."

"Right away!" Ivan was guided forcefully into the chair.

"I need you to think," Nny said as he strapped Ivan in, "of a name for this machine."

"What does it do?"

"You'll know soon enough." Nny was back to drinking his Brainfreezy at this point.

"I-I can't name it if I'm d-dead!"

"You won't be." grinned Johnny. "Now, I'll be back later today. Don't go anywhere."

5vgjm439v54385

You reviewers will be getting right nasty Shmee plushies, equipped with a subliminal messaging system. Be sure not to burn anything down! Right, right. Just be glad I updated.


	7. The Plot Thickens

HeheHA! I'm giving out, um, a taco plushie! So review and you can hug a taco as you sleep without making a nasty mess. No, Ivan doesn't die. I'm sorry. This is where the plot REALLY starts. Be amazed. 

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**The tall man was angry.**

**Not having emotions was difficult.**

**He had absolutely nothing to do in this weird town and everyone avoided him.**

**"I have no reason to be here." he muttered to himself. "Why did I even come out here?"**

**"This is stupid. Go back home. WithOUT killing anyone." A voice whispered into his mind.**

**"I can't go back home! Not now! I've made it so close to coldness!"**

**"Calm down. There's no reason to yell. Those people over there are staring at you."**

**Noting that his hallucinations were returning, the tall man sighed and sat down on yet another conveniently placed bench, wet from the apparently nonstop rain in the area.**

**"I'm pointless. All people are pointless. I never asked to exist. Why can't I just die?"**

**"You're starting to sound like that doughboy... besides, it's already been explained about why you can't die."**

**He sighed once again and put on his headphones, forcing himself to sit straight on the freezing bench. **

**His thoughts drifted to the ones he had known before coming out here.**

**Those two... didn't mind me being here. I could exist... for them? I'm certainly not here for me. And I already help the kid. He's funny. **

**He fought a smile while remembering saving him from that freak in the mall.**

**The look the kid's face was priceless.**

"Damn..." mumbled Ivan, shifting uncomfortably in the horrible trap. 

He looked up and saw a little boy standing in front of him. He looked to be about 12 but he had no pupils.

"Uh. Who are you?"

The boy just stared.

"Seriously kid. Answer me."

He adjusted the strange chef hat he wore and walked out of the room.

An indeterminable amount of time later he returned with two others.

One of the boys with him looked very similar only was staring dejectedly at the ground with his hypnotic gaze.

The other looked younger and rather fat. He was eating a burger.

"Could you get me out of here? Please?" Ivan said to them.

"As tempting as it is," grinned the first one, "I can't. Not yet, at least."

The one with the burger spoke up. "You may have noticed Johnny's lack of head voices?"

"No, not really." Ivan said.

"Well... he hasn't had them for a while."

"Oh."

"ANYWAY. I'm Reverend MEAT. This fellow here," he gestured towards the one whose shirt read 'FUCK', "is D-Boy."

"And I'm Eff." grinned Eff "You see, mister..."

"Ivan."

"Ivan, right. Johnny is completely and utterly mad. We are the ones who have driven him to that state. Not MEAT really, but D-boy and I did."

"Oh come on, I helped!"

"He was already crazy when you reached him, MEAT..." D-boy said.

"What does this have to do with me?" said Ivan.

"Yeah, we're the little hallucinations that hung out in his mind. We were dolls back then, though. It sure is great not to be styrofoam anymore. I may still have a scar from that stab, though. But ya see, Ivan, YOU can get us the power needed to turn us fully human. We're only creepy translucent children right now. But with you... with you we can become completely human! I can kill myself once and for all!"

"And I can wreak horrible havoc on the world." Eff said.

"Yeah. What he said." MEAT said, biting into his burger.

"What's in it for me?" He didn't quite believe them, but was curious.

"Ooh. Greedy are you? Don't worry. You'll get power as well." Eff's little boy face twisted into an awful grin.

And Ivan did so love power.

"Really now. What do I need to do?"

"Given your relations you will probably be set free. If you are you will be given further instructions. Agreed?"

"Agreed."

MEAT, Eff, and D-boy reached out and touched him on the forehead. He screamed as a mark was burned onto his skin.

The disconcerting children vanished.

On the far side of the room yet another little boy dressed all in pink watched. The bunny ears on his head drooped as he saw the man fall for their trick.

Johnny strode easily into Devi's apartment complex. His short lived habit of stalking her gave him easy directions to her house.

Devi was inside painting a dark scene that still had no real topic. A few black strokes, some gray, a hint of white... it looked like a bit like night sky so far. But not very much.

In the kitchen Sam and the children were enjoying a pizza. Todd had decided that while Sam was creepy looking, he didn't seem the type to gouge your eyes out if you said the wrong thing.

Suddenly the door burst open, nothing visible to them but a thin silhouette with odd hair.

They stared in horror, the tension mounting...

"Ivan is such a stupid bastard!"

Instantly they realized it was Johnny.

Squee greeted him with a traditional squeak.

"He walked right in to my fucking house! He rang ONCE. And then walked right in!"

Before he could continue Devi called from her painting, "Where is he now?"

"Oh, strapped up in this chair I built."

Devi knew exactly what kind of stuff Johnny would build.

"He's alive, right?"

"Sadly. I didn't think you'd want him dead as much as I wanted to try out my new chair."

"You want him to try out a chair?"

"Yup. I just finished it when he got to my house. I was PLANNING on going to go see a movie, but noooo! He just had to-"

"You can still go see a movie, Nny. He isn't really stopping you."

"You can both go," Sam put in, "I can drive these two home."

"Finally." Gaz said. "I need some more batteries."

"If you say so." Devi said.

"C'mon kids! We're gonna borrow the car!" No one put it into account that this guy probably never had a license.

They eventually made it outside and started to drive to Gaz's house. Even though he didn't have any idea as to where it was.

"So what movie did you want to go see?" Devi asked.

"There's some movie on about a poet and the world around him changing as he wrote. I can't remember the name, though."

"It sounds interesting. There's a theater pretty close to here so we can walk. Could you let my brother out after the movie please?"

"I guess..."

"Thank you, Nny."

He stayed quiet and looked at his once again bloody boots.

"I'm gonna go change into more movie-ish clothes. Gimme a sec." Devi left the room and went to go and change. DUH.

"Okee dokee." Johnny said, sitting down in front of her TV.

Squee had turned it off before he left and Johnny just sat on the couch, thinking while absentmindedly staring at the clock on her wall out of habit.

_That's odd... the voices haven't said anything for a while._

No one said anything in his head.

_Are they all gone?_

He smiled grimly to himself, almost daring them to reappear in his mind. 

_Things are getting better. I guess. I still have the urge to rip of someone's head in a fit of rage and smash it to bloody chunks with a hammer, but things ARE getting better. I don't think I'll ever get over that habit of killing people anyway. I've gotta control it around Devi at the very least. ... squishy. Wait, what? Damn. Damn that squishy!_

After a while he got up and started pacing. Though he had very little experience with women, it was a known fact that they took their time dressing and enjoyed every moment of the frustrating agony of going through 50,000,000 outfits. 

However, this was better understood when she walked back into the room in... something tight, black, naval exposing, and in Johnny's opinion, 'OMFG FREEKING HAWTZ0RZ', or at least until he caught his line of thinking and starting screaming at the squishy again. In his head. And she had a necklace, too. A bit more makeup than usual plus her hair-ties were more like ribbons. Uh... yay.

You can tell I didn't actually have an outfit and mind and came up with a vague description. I'll leave it to your imagination.

"Ready to go?" Devi asked as Johnny stared angrily into the distance at his latest psychotic idea.

"Huh? Oh. Mmhm. I'm gonna stab that squishy."

"Right... um. Movie now."

"Ok."

They walked out the door, Johnny whistling a slow song and Devi stepping with the beat.

The concrete was full of cracks and cars whizzed by, threatening to attempt to end Johnny once again.

Johnny had long since forgotten his job as a flusher. He never completely believed his weird dream anyway.

He killed when he was mad (which was often enough for him to do his job) but for no more reason than that.

_When did I even start?_

Devi looked over at him. He had stopped walking and was staring at the ground confusedly.

"Nny? You ok?"

"Yeah... I was just thinking."

"Careful, don't hurt yourself." she smiled and looked up at the night sky as they resumed walking.

A small smile appeared on his face as she stared at the stars, his previous train of thought lost.

_She's beautiful. How could she have forgiven me for what I almost had done?_

He turned ideas over in his mind before deciding she was probably just one of the few reasonable people in the world. _More reasonable than me, at least. Not that being more reasonable than me is saying much._

Finally they reached the movie theater. Johnny couldn't remember which movie he wanted to see, but there was apparently a horror movie on.

"We could go see it, I guess." Devi said, looking at the list of movies. All the other ones were badly made movies for little kids and Dust 2: Vacuum's Revenge.

There was no line at the little theater's box office.

"I can tell you two will want the scary one? That'll be twelve dollars."

Johnny twitched and handed him a ten and a handful of quarters, getting two tickets in exchange.

Devi hummed awkwardly, trying to convey that he shouldn't murder him for being judgmental.

He more or less understood and walked away, mentally adding the man to his list.

At last they made it into the theater and sat down next to each other in one of the middle rows.

Johnny looked around the room.

There were very few people.

Towards the front were some teenage boys shoveling M&Ms down their throats and some giggly preppy girls sitting not far off from them.

In the back corner of the darkening room sat two more girls.

One had curly brown hair tied into a neat pony tail and the other one had uncombed blonde hair. They were making fun of the cheerleaders in the front row.

The lights dimmed not a moment later and the ads rolled by.

The movie started after the last pathetic attempt to sell popcorn dimmed from the screen.

(A/N: This is were my writers' block set in. Can you feel the burning rage warming this author's note?)

10 minutes later, they realized it wasn't scary at all.

It was a sad attempt to popularize the Doogal movie again. (A/N: Sorry for two notes in rapid succession, but Doogal is the most evil movie ever made. You should watch it and feel my pain.)

The two girls in the back ran out of the theater screaming something about 'fucking greedy mop dogs'.

It all went downhill from there.

The boys chocked on M&Ms and the girls spontaneously combusted. The screen caught on fire.

"Oh my god! We've got to get out of here! What if they blame us?"

"They won't. They never do. But I have nothing against leaving. That weird dog must've been on speed or something. He ruined the movie..."

"Er... can we go now? I don't want to be burned to death."

A huge piece of flaming wood crashed into the row in front of them.

"Fuck!" she grabbed onto Johnny's arm and dragged him out the emergency exit.

"Can I have my arm back?"

She released him awkwardly and they watched the building burn down from a nearby moldy bench.

"This is better than a movie," Johnny said slightly louder than usual so Devi could hear him over the crackling flames.

"Yeah." She agreed.

"So, where do ya live, kids?" Sam smiled widely.

"I-I'm staying at her house for a w-while." Todd said, pointing in Gaz's general direction.

Noticing Sam's confusion, Gaz explained, "Some stupid bet my brother made."

"Actually... d-do you think we could stop by my house? I need to do s-something. It's closer than Gaz's house."

"Sure." Sam said. "Which way?"

"Turn left up here."

Soon they arrived at Todd's home.

"Come on. And be q-quiet so Daddy doesn't hear you."

Sam and Gaz followed him up the stairs.

The first thing they noticed when they walked in the room was Dib's dead body. The second thing they noticed was the mildly disturbing wallpaper.

Devi glanced at Nny as he watched the building burn down.

He looked uncomfortable near her, like he was scared of her.

It was actually rather cute, the way he sat there with his hands folded up in his lap.

Ivan looked up from his chair, hearing a distant sound.

"Who's there?"

In front of him stood yet another strange boy.

He was smaller than all of the others and was dressed in a loose fitting pink outfit. He also had pink bunny ears.

There appeared to be a nail jutting out of his chest and could be practically seen through.

"Johnny isn't all bad, you know." His voice was weak and quiet but rang with confidence.

"He's a psychopath." Ivan said. He hardly believed he was talking to a boy in a bunny suit...

"Yes. But he has morals. Limits."

"A funny haircut." Added Ivan.

"That was uncalled for, Ivan. Listen now. The others, MEAT, Eff, and D-boy are trying to-"

"Nailbunny! What are you doing down here!" Said the one called Eff as he strolled in.

"Talking to Ivan."

"Now, now, we can't have that can we?"

"We can, Eff. Get lost." Hissed the once cute pink attired boy.

Eff glared.

"YOU get lost. I'm gonna be made real! I'm gonna kill people! And have toast!"

"No."

"I wasn't asking."

"W-what?" His black eyes widened as he started to fade from view. "Where did you get this power?!"

"Oh, you know, Nailbunny. I got it all from Ivan. He's the one with power."

Ivan looked up. "I am?"

"Of course. You have tons ofpower. You just don't know how to exploit it properly. That information will be shared in due time, _my boy._"

"You... wouldn't..." Nailbunny growled before disappearing completely.

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Again, in the sake of a good ending, I cut it off about 400 words early. OH YEAH. I've actually started posting ART on my deviantart account (jonnac). Now all of you can see my 14 year old drawing skillz.


	8. Ivan is still alive :I

HOO BOY is this a sweet intro or what? Today I'm adding those weird lines between scene changes. Let me know if you guys like it. I'm running out of stuffed characters, so just take this wooden replica of a blanket, my sweet reviewers. Now burn in hell please. I mean... uh... read the story. Hop to it.

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**The man stared down at his bloodstained boots. **

**He had failed at controlling his emotions.**

**Again.**

**He knew that emotion was a normal part of being a person.**

**Not only was it obvious, but the stupid burger boy had never failed to remind him when he was still at home.**

**In fact, he even believed him as far as the aspect being a natural part of humanity.**

**Once the statuette got to it being vital, however, the man stopped listening and was overcome with a childish rage.**

**"No," he had at one point argued to himself, "Emotion can't be life. Life isn't for the sole purpose of enjoyment. Otherwise it wouldn't be so miserable."**

**Of course, the burger boy had to cut in and remind him that without emotion it wouldn't be miserable either.**

**"It wouldn't be anything. Nothing. Pointless." smiled the plastic being.**

**"It isn't anything anyway." He had retorted.**

**Looking back on it, he realized that he still didn't know the purpose of his existance.**

**The prospect of returning to his pathetic life and the little neighbor boy had become more welcoming.**

**The man looked to the sun starting to rise on the horizon then looked towards his boots for the second time.**

**He sighed softly and walked until he was free of the strange and rainy town.**

**The road changed from asphalt to a dusty cemented road running into a dark forest. **

**Now traveling a cold concrete path surrounded by gloomy, dew studded trees, he saw more clearly into the black pit of emotionlessness he longed for and forgot any revalations he may have had.**

"We'll trick him. If we can get rid of him after we get Ivan's life we can be completely free!" Eff said diabolically to MEAT and D-boy.

"But... how could we get rid of him?" D-boy asked.

"We could-"

MEAT interrupted, "Johnny could do it."

"That's ingenious!" Eff giggled.

"Perfect. We all know he has the worst possible timing and will no doubt run in as we're killing Ivan. We'll just retreat once he goes after him!" The Reverend said, taking another bite of his burger.

"And if, by chance, Johnny does not show up? D-boy hissed, putting a damper on the joyful mood.

"Um... I guess we're screwed." Eff said, scratching his head thoughfully.

* * *

Johnny grinned viciously as a woman ran out of the building, fully combusted and screaming in a ridiculously high pitched voice. 

Devi looked a little unhappy for the woman, but was rather terrified of Johnny's gleeful reaction to her pain.

His vicious grin turned to a disturbing laugh when she tripped and cut herself badly on a strangely placed broken shopping cart in front of the burning movie theater.

"Johnny?" She wanted him to stop. It was scary.

He stopped giggling and looked at her.

"Yeah?"

"I'm... cold." Devi quickly realized how dumb an excuse this was.

"We're sitting next to a burning building and you're cold?"

She coughed. "... yes."

"Um. Okay then. We could go to my house if you want. I don't know how warm it is though."

"That would be great."

They walked side by side away from the flaming wreckage to Nny's meager shack.

When the two arrived, Johnny instantly realized something was amiss.

The basement door was very obviously wide open and the doughboys were no longer knifed to the wall.

It wasn't to difficult for his sharp but shattered mind to put two and two together. It was obviously 3.

He didn't get an answer that most people would get such as, 'Oh, I must have left the basement door open and taken those guys off the wall earlier. They were so untasteful.'

His was more along the lines of, 'Oh, FUCK, they must have escaped into my basement!'

"Devi, I'm really sorry, but we need to go downstairs for a bit." he said in a calm voice, though he was visibly shaken.

"What's wrong?"

"I really don't have time to explain this..." he mumbled mostly to himself.

He descended the stairs quickly, Devi close behind, almost tripping on what seemed to be a scrap of styrofoam.

Johnny led them to the room with Ivan in it.

Ivan raised his head slowly and blinked with recognition.

"Devi?"

"Ivan! Are you okay?"

"... well... okay as I can be."

There was a burn mark on his forehead.

It almost appeared to be an 'F'.

"What happened to your head?"

"I didn't do it," Johnny cut in, entirely forgetting his purpose for coming down into the basement in the first place."My plan was much worse."

"How pleasant..." growled Ivan. "Look, Devi, you do realize he's a freaking psychopath, right?"

"Of course."

"Then why do you hang out with him?"

"Hang out with him? Ivan, I dated Johnny. It didn't work out so now we're just friends."

"You DATED him?!"

"Yeah. Do you have a problem with that?"

Johnny looked away, seething silently at himself.

Ivan glanced at Johnny and, seeing that he was about to explode with a horrible rage, decided not to answer.

Eff peeked into the room, with what could be inaccurately described as a smile plastered on his face. It was really more of a gleeful leer.

"What's going on in there?" whispered D-boy.

"Quiet, I'm listening!" Eff hissed back.

"You guuuys..." warned MEAT in a feminine fashion.

"Ooh, ooh!" Eff squealed, "He's gonna let Ivan out! That girl is making him. Heehee!"

"It's all going perfectly." sighed D-boy happily.

"Do you think a ribbon will look good in my hair?" The Reverend pondered aloud.

"Maybe if it's a white one. Black would just blend." Eff pointed out.

"Ok."

MEAT smiled as he tied his hair back in a white ribbon, a huge floppy bow at the base of his new ponytail.

"That looks great." assured D-boy.

MEAT smiled cutely and twirled in a circle.

"They're just sitting there. Arguing." Eff drawled. "It's getting boring. Oh. OH! Wait, wait, wait!"

* * *

Squee screamed. 

"EEEEEK!!!"

"Woah... that's my brother." Gaz said, amber eyes wide, a tiny smile on her face.

"I'm sorry, Gaz..." Sam said comfortingly before realizing she seemed rather happy with the news.

"He's finally dead! YES!" Gaz did a joyful dance on the bloody carpet.

Todd breathed slowly.

_Ok, Todd... remember: there's nothing you can do for him once he's dead. _he told himself, one eye twitching. _And Gaz is happy with it. He seemed like a jerk anyway. I hope his death didn't hurt much..._

Gaz had a contented smile. "Hey, Todd, your wallpaper's kinda creepy."

"I know. It's been like that since before I can remember and it's all throughout the house. I don't like it."

"QUIET UP THERE YOU ERROR!" cried Todd's father.

"Yes, daddy..." he mumbled mostly to himself.

Shmee recommended arson, but Todd mentally refused.

"What a bastard." Sam growled.

"You aren't gonna kill him, are you?" Todd squeaked. "Scary Neighbor Man always wants to."

"Of course not."

Gaz tried to put on an air of nonchalance, but still looked frustrated with Todd's father.

The bastard had no right to treat anyone that way, much less his son.

Now she understood why he had wanted to stay at someone elses home though she was still curious as to the reason for her brother's death.

"What do you think happened to him?" Sam asked at last, speaking her thoughts.

"Maybe... maybe the little g-ghostie girl. But she didn't seem mean... w-well, a lot of weird things happen here... Um. It looks like he choked to death."

"Choked?" Gaz queried, looking closer at Dib.

"Yeah."

"How can you tell?"

"I've s-seen a few c-choked people before."

"Oh. Right."

* * *

Johnny glared at Ivan as he undid his shackles. 

"You wouldn't have happened to run into anyone down here, Ivan?" Nny said suspiciously.

"Um. Um. No." Ivan said unconvincingly.

"... good..."

"Why do you ask?"

"They're running rampant." Johnny, muttering a rant to himself.

"Ivan, it's flattering that you'd go so far to protect me, but really, I'm fine." Devi said.

"It's just-"

"DAMN THAT FUCKING SQUISHY!!!" Johnny screamed suddenly, throwing a knife at the ground.

The stabbing end stuck into the concrete of the floor, causing a small series of cracks to form around the point of entry.

Everyone stared at it reverberating in the ground.

"Stay here for a bit, you two." Johnny said, wandering off for no reason. "I no die... I no die..." he sang to himself as he walked away.

They complied sat awkwardly, his little song ringing in their minds until Johnny returned with a tied up badly injured guy.

"You may want to go upstairs for this, Devi." Nny said.

"I think I can handle myself."

"Suit yourself. Anyway, as you will soon see, Ivan, this machine was designed to rip the skin from a human's body using an intricate series of hooks and wires. It would be YOU who I would test it on, but Devi insisted that you be freed. This guy will be sitting in your stead. Sure you still want to be here, Dev?"

"I think I'll go upstairs, actually," she said, dumbstruck.

"Isn't that potentially fatal?" Ivan asked hesitantly as Devi left.

"Oh, no, it's definitely eventually fatal. It just takes a while and a whole lot of soy sauce-"

Johnny stopped dead and stared into the next room.

He had seen it; a fleeting glance of that evil chef hat.

"Dammit..."

He pulled out a knife and strode into the next room.

Ivan, unsure of what to do, wandered deeper into the basement, blindly searching for the stairs up.

The guy in the chair sighed in an uncomfortable fashion and settled down to sleep.

"Crap, Johnny saw me!" Eff scream/whispered.

"Hide!" D-boy panicked.

The voices dashed away.

"I SWEAR when I find you guys! You'll wish you never got off that wall!"

(A/N: I honestly considered making Nny pull a hadoken and kill them all. And then make fluff for the remaining chapters.)

Ivan found a promising looking (yeah, right) hallway and started to follow it.

It was of course splattered with the blood of the not so innocent.

He stumbled into a room with a huge gaping hole in the wall.

"What... is this?"

Ivan drew closer and looked into the hole.

Two shining yellow eyes suddenly appeared in front of him. (Fun Fact: They didn't belong to a moose)

"HOLY FUCK!"

"Be quiet." a small hand clamped over his mouth.

He looked down at the source of the hand.

"I'm Nailbunny. I already know you're Ivan, so you don't need to introduce yourself. I wont be here long... Eff and the others are going to try and-"

Nailbunny disappeared, a look of suprise on his face.

Eff, MEAT, and D-Boy stood behind him.

"Step into the dark creepy cave if you will, please." D-boy said.

"But there's a monster in there!"

The glares he received made it clear that he had no choice.

_Maybe I shouldn't have agreed to help them..._

He stepped carefully into what remained of the wall that had once hid the wall monster.

"Are you guys sure this is a good idea?"

"Of course." D-boy said.

"For us." MEAT added as Ivan was grabbed by a horrible tentacle.

"So, will he work?" Eff asked eagerly of the monster.

He (the monster) made a motion that could be described as a nod.

"YES!" MEAT danced around happily.

"What's going on?!" Ivan panicked.

"We decided we'd just take your life force instead of having you go do stuff for us." Eff said.

The voices grinned and slowly grew to full adult size and Ivan's life withered away agonizingly.

"What the FUCK are you STUPID MOTHERFUCKERS doing?!" Johnny shouted.

They all looked at him in suprise.

After about 10 seconds of silence, Johnny screeched, "Should I talk slower like you're all retarded?! What. The. FUCK. Are. You. DOING."

"Told ya." Eff whispered to D-boy.

* * *

Devi turned on the TV.

A show about monkeys was on.

* * *

Far away, Squee grabbed cheese crackers he had come all the way home to get.

"Wait, you mean you made us detour for crackers?"

"Yeah."

Sam and Gaz stared.

"They're r-really good..." he said, nervously offering them each one.

"... let's just go home." Gaz sighed.

* * *

(ooh, here comes Devi's thoughts!) 

Devi sat on Johnny's surprisingly comfortable couch.

She turned of the television absently.

The show about monkeys turned into some monkey rape thing and... well... ya know. That's just pretty wrong.

The whole room was permeated with a muted scent of blood.

She frowned realizing that she was rather accustomed to it.

Her frown deepened when the idea that she enjoyed it crossed her mind.

Devi knew she hated watching innocent people die for no reason (though she applauded mentally when another _bastard_ was removed from existence) and she knew she hated the torture Nny often implemented; but there was a certain power that Johnny seemed to have over his victims.

She couldn't place her exact feelings on it. A mix of envy and admiration.

Finally she decided that it was mostly an admiration of the fact that he could handle killing people at all.

It wasn't a secret to her that Johnny's confidence was less than that of most people.

A single mental disorder wouldn't even fit him.

He had random flashes of mania and depression, while other times he seemed completely normal. Nny was definitely paranoid and suffered from major hallucinations. Plus he had some... rage issues. His killing was completely justified in his opinion.

(A/N: It just occurred to me that Devi never did see any of his 'I feel like killing a random innocent today' killings, in this story or otherwise.)

_Johnny's also one of the smartest people I've ever met, _she reminded herself. _Even if he does have a horrible lust for blood and a trail of death behind him everywhere he goes. _

Devi looked down at her shoes. She noticed that they were splattered slightly with the stuff. Blood.

It must've happened when he was brutally rending the flesh of some poor being, sending the vital liquid spraying violently in all directions.

She frowned again. Looking back, she couldn't recall one ounce of remorse for his victims.

_Dammit. He's killing my morals._

At least he was cute in a morbid kind of way.

He was disturbingly skinny, but she knew that he could knock out the biggest of jocks with ease. Where that strength came from she had no idea.

It was a bit hard to tell just how strong he was as far as visible muscle due to his style of dress (most awesome boots EVER), but she assumed that he had the type of wiry muscle a cat had running through him.

Then there was his eyes.

She had never seen eyes that could be emotional and completely empty all at once.

It was impossible to know what he was thinking, but when he displayed how he felt you could really tell he meant it.

All of this, paired with his odd adorable haircut and rare smiles, made him a strangely charming killer.

Devi obviously chose to ignore how cute he was though, denying what she knew was true for her slight fear of his reactions.

If he were to figure out that she still wanted to love him, still wanted to be sitting back on this very couch with him beside her... who knows what he would do.

Would he try and kill her again? Would he end up kissing her as was originally intended? Or maybe... maybe he would do something completely different.

You could never tell with Nny.

She got up and looked around the room.

She hadn't gotten a good view of it the last time she was here... she pushed away the memory.

Now though, she could explore without interruption.

There was less blood on the floor than she would have imagined, but then again, why would he kill people in his living room?

The windows were all boarded up and the front door was practically falling off it's hinges.

She hadn't even noticed that last time.

Weird.

Poking about some more she ran upon a stack of papers with hideous drawings on them.

There was an evil little stick figure gracing the panels, screaming disturbing and sometimes sexual obscenities at the passersby.

_What the FUCK? _

The stick guy, apparently named Happy Noodle Boy, was creepy and senseless.

She sat down and began to read, captivated.

_This is so freaking weird! It's just awful!_

Yet she continued to read, stuck in the world of the screaming noodle beast.

Then she saw it.

This... twisted work of art was created by no other than Johnny C.

_He's more messed up than I thought..._

438mnv239

Yes friends. That is the end. OF THIS CHAPTER. Good day. And if it's night... what the hell? Good night, I guess. If it's afternoon then stop complaining. Accept my wishes of wellness!


	9. Bandaids

Here it is... the moment you've all been waiting for! There's actually some fluff in this chapter if you wanna call it that. Sorta cute. Yes, I can feel your joy radiating off of you. By the way... I'm a little high from watching Jimmy Urine hump a monitor and listening to "Masturbates" like 10,000 times. But you didn't come to hear about my sick pleasure from seeing the hottest man alive get off with a musical device. You wanted the story. Go on and read, I guess.

Warning: This chapter is less violent than normal. If you don't like it... then why are you reading a romance fanfic? Geez... oh, and if anyone thinks Ivan's going to die this chapter he isn't. Sorry.

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**He had been through many towns and cities, all of which had been far better than his point of origin, but still he harbored a nagging longing to return.**

**And that he just couldn't figure out.**

**"It was horrible there..." he murmured to himself as he walked. "Just a bunch of bastards!"**

**He sifted through crudely formed memories and blurry days gone by in what was left of his mind.**

**The only good he could recall was cherry brainfreezies and a few conversations whose subjects were lost to him.**

**There was something different about the places he had visited... he never found anything like the places where he lived.**

**No Taco Hell, no 24/7... they didn't sell Icy Ham, Cherry Doom, or Frosty Peanut flavored anything ANYWHERE.**

**What was special about HIS so-called home that it had these and no where else did?**

**He couldn't even find Senor Salsa chips.**

**Now he didn't even have what he once thought was good in life.**

**But instead of finding coldness as he had thought he would from his deprivation, he was met with emptiness.**

Ivan twitched, trying to hold on the the last vestiges of life.

"Help!" he called weakly, hearing the screams of whoever came in. It was probably Johnny; it wasn't a FEMALE voice for sure and Ivan doubted that there was anyone alive down here in the condition to be yelling at a horrible monster angrily.

Nny glared viciously at Ivan (who looked to be pretty close to death at this point) before turning his attention to what were once his head voices.

"What the fuck... how long have you all been human?!"

Eff smiled like the evil villain he was and began describing his some evil stuff as according to the Official Guidebook of Villainy.

"We have been human since you left on your vacation, dearest Johnny. Once you left the wall monster returned and brought us into the form of human children. He instructed us to bring him a man from which he could extract life for more power, not just for him but for us as repayment."

"You!" Johnny turned to the monster and rested his hands on their respective knife hilts. "YOU'RE the cause of all my voices?"

"Yesss," it hissed, it's hollow voice seeming to come from all around. "And YOU are the very reassson for my creation, Johnny."

"What?"

"If you weren't driven to insssanity I would have never had to be born into this God-forsssaken plane of exissstance and could have been sssomewhere better... you do remember, don't you? How you became completely and utterly insssa-"

Johnny leapt forward and stabbed the horrible beast in the eye with one knife and sent the other one crashing through the monster's teeth.

"YOU WILL REGRET THAT!"

Three tentacles shot forward. Johnny never replied and proceeded to hack off two of the tentacles from the wall monster's body, sending rank yellowish white blood spraying like from the tentacles in the fashion of a hose. The third attempted to pick Johnny up from around the waist, but his fear of being touched led both of his knifes into the sticky flesh.

The monster tried to dodge Johnny's next blows aimed for his... face thingy but couldn't avoid it.

His um... face thingy (what IS that?) was shredded.

He started to slow down from lack of blood and tore viciously at Nny, managing to put some decently deep gashes into his arms and his chest, but not before he saw the voices escaping out of the only exit.

The monster started to go after them.

Johnny noticed his distraction and, ignoring his bleeding, came at him blades twirling, and completely removed its head thingy.

The body crashed through a wall and landed in front of the poor man strapped in the skin removal chair.

"HOLY SHIT!" he squirmed and the various hooks stuck in him pulled at his skin.

Johnny strolled up to Ivan, still coiled in one of the creature's many tentacles.

"Y-you... saved me!"

"I spared Devi grieving the death of someone as useless as you. Get up."

He looked absently at his newly aquired wounds. Then his attention turned to the holes in his coat and shirt.

That really pissed him off.

432424

Todd, Gaz, and Sam walked into the Membrane household.

"Sam, you can stay in the spare room. Todd, you can keep Dib's old room."

"Y-you want me to stay in a dead boy's room?" Todd curled in on himself and stared up at her.

"Yes."

"Well... I... I guess I could..."

"Yeah, you could. Get in there, Dib's not gonna haunt you."

"But what about- what about going home?"

"Do you really want to go back there, Todd?"

"I love my parents!"

"Why?"

"I... I dunno."

"Just stay here, Todd. I'll introduce you two to my neighbor later. He stays up pretty late."

"Can you show me where the spare room is?" Sam asked.

"Oh. Right." Gaz pointed down a random hallway. "It's the last door that way."

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Johnny walked down passageway, Ivan stumbling feverishly behind him.

"Hurry up." spat Nny as Ivan tripped over a bloody, practically unrecognizable piece of flesh that was on the arm of a bastardly woman.

"R-right..."

The pair finally made it to the stairs and while Johnny climbed them as easily as he walked Ivan had a hard time on the uneven and rotting stairs. He eventually gave up and sat at the bottom forlornly.

Devi was standing near the door when Nny got to the top. She had heard the monster fall through the wall.

"Hey, where's Ivan?" she demanded.

"It's a little difficult to expla-" Johnny started to say before she screamed.

"Oh my God! You're bleeding!"

"Yeah, it's ok, I'm really more concerned about what caused it."

"Where are your bandaids? Do you even have any?! You need some."

She was clearly panicking. Before he could answer she continued.

"Stay here, Nny! Do not go ANYWHERE. I'll be right back. Don't move."

Devi rushed out the front door leaving Johnny dumbfounded and oozing blood all over the floor.

He sat down on the couch taking care to avoid contact with his cuts. A hard kick to the side of his TV turned it on.

_The voices are loose... those stupid bastards... what the hell do they think they're doing?! I bet I'm going to have to be the one to go after them, too... HAH! I LOVE this commercial!_

432424

A cashier watched stupidly as a woman rifled through the medical aisle.

_Ok, bandaids, bandaids... gauze would work better. And some Bactine! Definitely some Bactine! What the hell was he doing down there, getting himself all cut up?_

It suddenly occured to her that she was overreacting.

_Get a hold of yourself, Devi! He probably wasn't even hurt that bad! He walked up the stairs just fine!_

_Then again he is completely insane._

_Then again he's still a person and has nerves and feelings and likes Spaghetti-Os and movies._

She scooped up a couple rolls of gauze and a bottle of Bactine.

It seemed like it would do.

She approached the apparently braindead cashier and dropped the items in front of him.

"D'ya have a coupon?" he asked her, running a hand through his strange (and greasy) spiked purple hair. His nametag said "Tommy" with a backwards 'y'.

"No. Do you have coupons for these?"

"No."

"Then why'd you ask?!"

"I'm not completely sure. My boss says I should always ask."

"Ugh... you are such an- oh, whatever, just ring these up."

"Riiight."

Tommy took a hideously long amount of time for ringing up 3 items, but he finally finished and gave her the stuff in a little plastic baggie.

"See ya." he droned.

Devi ignored him and walked out the door.

The trip back to Johnny's decrepit home was mostly unneventful. She stepped on some gum and saw a kid with a pistol run by her screaming something about not knowing it was loaded.

She opened the door slowly and peeked in. Johnny was staring blankly at his TV, apparently not caring if he made a huge mess of his couch what with his injuries still bleeding after ten minutes.

A tentacle wrapped around the woman on the television screen. Much screaming and rape ensued.

In a moment Devi was right behind him.

His gaze became more focused as he watched her reflection on the television screen, regardless of the horrible rape occuring behind her translucent image.

"Hey."

"Hey. I got you some Bactine."

Devi held the bag out to him and he took it quickly watching not to accidently touch her hand.

"And gauze? What do you expect me to do, wrap myself up?'

"Yes."

"I'm not going to."

Her eye twitched in mild annoyance.

"And I'M not going to let you bleed to death in your living room."

She snatched the bag from his grasp.

"Take off your coat and shirt NOW."

He ignored her and another well placed kick to the TV changed the channel.

_I told her I wasn't going to and I won't... _he thought to himself. It wasn't that really cared if he was bandaged, just that he had already said that he wouldn't.

He felt her sit down beside him, very obviously attempting not to get sticky blood on herself.

Johnny shifted away from her.

She scooted closer to him and poured some Bactine onto the arm closer to her. He continued to be unresponsive to her and kept his other arm out of her reach.

"Don't be so childish, Nny..."

The old couch creaked as she leaned over him.

She managed to get some of the disinfectant onto his other arm and dumped the remnants of the bottle down the front of his shirt.

A distinctly uncomfortable look crossed Johnny's face at her being a few inches from him.

Devi sat back and crossed her arms. "Are you going to put on this gauze or do I need to do it for you?"

Johnny sent her a halfhearted glare.

"I don't need any... It'll stop bleeding soon."

"I'm not messing around, Johnny, I'm not going to sit here and_ let _you bleed out in your living room."

"Do what you want, I'm gonna get a Brainfreezy."

He started to stand but Devi pinned him back into the filthy chair and rolled his sleeve back.

In reality, she was terrified and hoped that Johnny wouldn't try and kill her, but proceeded to wrap his arm in the first of many layers of gauze.

He squirmed and tried to keep away from her hands.

"Be still!"

"No!"

A miniature wrestling match later and both of Johnny's arms were covered in a satisfactory amount of bandages.

"Don't make me tear your shirt, Nny."

He frowned at this. Any more damage to it and it wouldn't be salvageable.

"But I like this shirt."

"Well... I like when you aren't bleeding all over the place."

"It's not like tearing my shirt would mean I would LET you. And I'd still have my coat."

"You'd be forced and your coat is able to be torn, too."

"But I have to... go."

"What could you possible HAVE to do, Nny? From what I gather you're here all day."

"There's a problem. With those fucking voices! They're people now!"

A confused stare broadcasted her opinion on his announcement.

"The styrofoam guys that you said were gone are people? How much blood have you lost?"

"Shit, Devi! There's more than just those two. If I can find Nailbunny he can explain it to us..."

Another look of confusion, this one also a little worried, graced Devi's face.

"Where would you find him?"

His eyes widened in paranoia. "Everywhere! He'd just show up when I was upset. The damned voices would just appear at the worst of fucking times. Then they stopped when I supposedly died. Of course, the universe basically rebooted itself if that actually happened, so..."

What he was saying was lost to Devi but she sat in silence anyway. He wasn't making sense. The real problem was that she wasn't sure if he was just being insane or if everything he said was true.

"AND JIMMY, THE STUPID BASTARD HE WAS, RAPED HER! HE RAPED THEM!"

"... um, Nny? I'm gonna go home. I'd appreciate it if you'd treat your cuts."

She stood and walked out the door leaving the little roll of gauze on the couch next to him.

A few more minutes of exhausting screaming, and Johnny was roughly covering the cuts across his torso with the white bandage.

It dawned on him that she DID care. She wasn't fearful of just being near him as she had been for so long after he attacked her. He was being viewed as a person, not a killer.

She saw past his black boots and funny haircut and knew him as much as someone could know a psychopath. She realized that he cared for _her_ as well no matter how easily he was angered.

"Of course I care for her... I'd have to be stupid not to." he told himself irritably.

"That's good, Nny. Realizing how you feel is the first step to controlling yourself."

Johnny whirled around to see a strange little boy in a pink bunny suit.

"Nailbunny?!"

The boy nodded.

"She still loves you, ya know. I don't have time to talk about that, however. The others, with help from the wall monster, have basically drained Ivan's life and put it into themselves. They are much more powerful than I am since only fragments of his life energy went to me. There's no way to save Ivan (he should die by tomorrow), but you CAN stop them. As human adults they can be killed permanently. But they're still part of you and will try and trick you. I'll do my best to hold them off. Be careful, Johnny!"

Johnny was silent for a moment while trying to take in all that was said. "You'll be ok, right? I've kind of missed you talking to me."

"... just be careful, Nny. Kill them for me." Nailbunny faded from sight.

"I will." Johnny whispered to the empty room.

His first thought was to go and collect the better of the portable weapons from the basement and warn Devi. His second thought was"I really want a popsicle!".

So he went to get a popsicle. (A/N: I really wish I could forget major concerns that easily P )

432424

As Devi walked home it started to rain.

She snorted in irritation and continued her stride.

_I really hope he ends up putting on that stupid gauze. He's so stubborn... Ivan's not near as- where IS Ivan? _

She had totally forgotten about him in her panic.

But why had she panicked so?

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Todd and Sam had each gotten comfortable.

We likely all know what Dib's room looks like so I won't describe it's blueness to you all.

Sam's room, however, was terribly... yellow. And no one likes yellow. He decided he would buy some white paint for it. That was what he was accustomed to anyway.

It was a standard guest room, by the way. A double bed, a nightstand, an empty dresser...

He'd need to buy some clothes, too.

Gaz walked into Todd's room, already haven put on her coat and grabbed her baseball bat.

"We're going to the mall. You and Sam need something to wear and I may as well get a new baseball bat."

She pointed to the cracks running through it.

"O-oh... um, what happened to it?"

"I hit someone with it when they tried to grab me."

He gave her a regular Squee look of terror.

"We can meet my neighbor before we go. He's kinda creepy."

Gaz walked out to tell Sam they were leaving and soon the were all collected at the front door.

The group traveled the great distance of about 5 yards to the front yard of Gaz's neighbor when something caught Todd's attention.

He knew who lived here. Smoke billowed from the chimney though the outdoor heat was unbearable..

There was only one person who kept a fire going in their house year round.

But it was too late to stop the inevitable as the door swung open.

"What do you want?" The boy sounded like he had been asleep before they had come to his door.

Ever the polite one, Gaz growled, "Geez, I just thought you might want to meet the people staying at my house. Sam and Todd."

He noticed the Squee sized boy standing a short way behind her.

"Is that Todd Casil?"

"Yeah." Gaz look expectantly at Todd.

The aforementioned Todd's eyes widened. "P-please don't melt my face off my skull. I need it there."

"What're you doing over here? And you don't actually need all of your face."

"Me and Sam are staying at Gaz's house."

"Oh, so you're finally away from your horrible parents. We can hang out together again!"

Todd smiled mostly out of fear, remembering other times he had 'hung out' with Pepito. It usually ended up in something burning.

"Ya wanna come to the mall with us?" Sam offered politely.

Todd let out a tiny squee of terror.

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God, I love LimeWire... anyway. This time you reviewers get nothing because I'm too lazy to come up with something clever. Just review and you'll get the next chapter. Chapter ten will arrive at 60 reviews! So review, dammit.


	10. Ouch

OH MY GAWD. I am SO sorry that it took so long for me to get this written and posted.

It was almost done and then my computer just went psycho and deleted my hard drive. Including the Word document containing this magical chapter. Uuurgh.

ALSO. At this point I'm currently trying to find (maybe write) a not shitty story about... oh, never mind, it's irrelevant.

Anyway.

To reply to the anonymous reviewer 'Fan': I know I to convey my ideas better. I'm depressingly bad at that. I speak, write, and think in a very dismembered fashion and it tends to confuse people. But remember, I've written MUCH worse! I wrote 'A Happy Day in Konoha' or whatever I titled that abomination. I think I put that under my old editors name it was so bad... Anyway. Thanks for the review!8D

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**It was starting to bother the man.**

**Wherever he was, and of that he had no idea, the sky dropped rain constantly.**

**He pulled his coat around himself on impulse, but instantly dropped his hands to his side.**

_**NO. I wont give in to something as simple as rain! **_**he told himself while trying to remain calm.**

**A wind picked up and threatened to blow the thin man over.**

**He held steady however, and glared into the wind.**

**Hit with the fact that anger was an emotion, he automatically attempted to clear his thoughts.**

**But it was so cold...**

**"Why not me?!" he hissed at himself.**

**His urge to return to what was once his home took over the man's brain once again.**

**The image of a thin woman imprinted itself in his mind.**

**He wanted to go back.**

_**No I don't.**_

_**Yes you do.**_

**"NO I DON'T."**

**The random guy walking by him stared for a moment before continuing on his dreary way.**

**He sighed bitterly and turned around.**

**The road behind him didn't seem to have a beginning.**

**The road ahead of him didn't seem to have an end.**

_**What am I doing?**_

Johnny held back a pathetic sob at the sight of the metal tips of his boots.

While on his way to the kitchen in search a spatula that was to be used for unspeakable things, he tripped and scuffed the metal in the most hideous and agonizing fashion.

His day had been ok; evil head voices turned human escaped, he was terribly injured, he got a popsicle, and then tortured a few people before milling around the house until now. But this? This was just AWFUL.

(A/N: Damn, I've used up half of my negative adjectives already!)

A solitary tear escaped from his eye before rage took over.

"FUCK YOU FLOORBOARDS! FUCK YOU!"

He attacked the floor with a conveniently located bloody sledgehammer into the slighty raised piece of wood that had caused him to trip, leaving a splintery hole in the entrance to his kitchen.

"Dammit. DAMN FLOOR. I hate you! You DARE to get in my way and hurt my INNOCENT shoes!"

Johnny hit the floor a few more times before throwing the sledgehammer through the hole into his basement.

It landed on the leg of some poor soul. "OW! What the hell are you doing up there?!"

"SHUT UP THE FUCK UP! INSENSITIVE BASTARD!"

He sat down on a moldy counter and stared back down at his boots.

"What was I doing again? ... um... oh right. Warn Devi and stop the horrible evil coming to destroy her."

He muttered to himself, reaching into his pockets to see if he had any money.

Finding only a handful of change, he snatched out a few kitchen drawers and, dumping their contents on the floor, found a couple $20 bills mixed in with some potentially deleterious solvents and items.

One such item being the spatula he had originally came for.

He stuck the spatula and a couple of knives that were lying around in his backpack and started out the door to Devi's house.

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A frown placed itself on Devi's face when she finally noticed that she didn't really care where Ivan was.

She was determined to worry about her brother, but every time something caught her attention all thoughts of him fizzled out.

Having gotten home recently, it had came to her mind that she needed to get her brain out of this ridiculous rut.

In the end she decided that making some dinner would be the solution.

A quick look over of her cabinets showed that she needed to go shopping because all she found was a box of Easy Mac.

The cardboard container was set deep in the cobweb encrusted corner of one of her darker cabinets.

As she picked it up, a rat scurried out from behind it and into the oblivion of a small hole it had chewed in her wall.

It read in cheerful lettering, _Easy Mac. Still with no real cheese!_

Staring down at the package, she noted the suspicious orange and green stains littering the box as well.

"..."

Devi decided to go out for dinner.

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Ivan turned over in the uncomfortable darkness.

He was barely able to move and was fairly certain that whatever was on the floor poking him wasn't something he wanted to see.

A rather forlorn sigh escaped him as he prodded his numb leg.

He really couldn't have walked up the stairs even if he managed to get himself standing at this point.

There was nothing to do but sit there and hope someone came downstairs that DIDN'T want to kill him.

The odds of that were very low.

_I'm going to die in a basement right next to the stairs out?! That is so fucking lame..._

It really is. Just goes to show what a disappointment I am.

He probably the most hated character in the fic and he bleeds to death (or dies of dehydration...) in a basement next to the stairs?

The authoress fails at life.

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Gaz, Todd, Sam, and Pepito all skipped joyfully to the mall.

If 'skipped joyfully' means 'walked'.

The trip was pretty boring.

It's not like they fought off the badger overlords or something.

They were actually KITTEN overlords. Who liked singing Fatboy Slim's Rockafeller Skank.

After defeating such horrid, freezer dwelling creatures such as those, they made it to the M A L L.

That says 'mall' if you didn't know.

Anyway.

"I don't think that's gonna fit me, G-gaz..." Todd squeaked out upon seeing the little number she had picked out for the seven year old.

No girl is dumb enough to let a bunch of boys pick their own clothes. Not even Gaz.

"Yes it will." she growled, moving her weight off of the recently kitten-bloodstained bat she was using in the manner of a cane to hold out the outfit.

To be Franklin, the outfit was designed for small Gazzy teenagers, not little Squees.

"Do I have to wear the h-hat?"

It was black and said HATE across the front in white letters.

"Yes."

"Aaaw..."

"I don't know... It's not very Toddlike." Pepito pointed out.

"Pff. I'm not letting YOU dress him."

"Maybe if you get that smiley face pin?"

She looked Todd up and down then stuck a ridiculously large smiley face pin to Todd's new hat.

"Done whining?"

"Quite."

Sam was given an outfit extremely similar to that of Waldo from Where's Waldo.

Look that up if you haven't seen it.

"Why do I look like a character from a popular series of look and find books?" he asked.

"CARMEN SAN DIEGO." Gaz spat back.

"Uh... wait, wasn't she... never mind. Okay."

Two hours later Gaz had Sam a whole wardrobe and many things she bought on a whim for Todd, herself, or Pepito.

How was this possible? She has a rich dad.

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Devi opened the door to her apartment only to be met with the wide eyes of no other than Johnny C.

"Nny?!"

He wasn't entirely focused and seemed to be in a hurry. "Mm. Hey. Look, uh, you know those evil little bastards-"

"Johnny, what're you doing here?" deadpanned Devi.

"Well..." he looked at the floor like a scolded child, "I'm just warning you of your imminent destruction. That is, if you want to be warned. Death tends to be better when you don't expect it, it seems. Faster. Less regret that way, too, cuz you don't really have the chance. Of course-"

"Imminent destruction?"

"Yeah. The voices."

"... Nny, I'm not sure what you're talking about."

"ARGH!" Johnny glared at the sky for a moment before looking back to her, "Ok, let's put this simply... you're in trouble. I am warning you about it. Get the picture?"

"Uh. Yeah, I guess. How about you just come to dinner with me and explain there?"

He fidgeted. "I could, but I kinda need to prevent your death. Creepy, right?"

"Come on. There's no way you aren't hungry."

Nny stared at his boots. "Uh. Well, ok. I wont eat much though..."

"That's fine. Come on."

They walked down the rather barren street before they finally arrived at a tiny burger joint called Crap Burger.

The owner of the shop, Roderick Crap, had created the establishment long before he could speak english, but was too lazy to change the name by the time he realized the problems.

Devi and Nny agreed that regardless of the restaurant's name, the burgers were pretty good. Even if Johnny really DIDN'T eat that much.

"So, what's this business about me being screwed over by hallucinations?" Devi asked, popping a french fry in her mouth.

Johnny's eyes became large and disconcerting.

"The bunny says they're gonna try and kill you and Squeegee."

"WHY would they want to do that?"

"For one thing it would bother me a lot and possibly drive me to suicide because I would have nothing left to live for except the deaths of others and soda."

"Aaw. That's so sweet!"

He managed to ignore her girlish glee and kept talking. "They're also completely stupid."

"But aren't they offshoots of YOUR mind?" I am aware that Devi doesn't know this. Shh.

"... they developed their own personalities, ok?"

"Oh." Devi put a small frown on her face as she pondered this.

"So how're we gonna stop them, Nny?"

"We could always just hunt them down and kill them and finish up this whole thing within the next chapter."

"What?"

"What?"

"Alrighty then."

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Squee curled into his blanket in an obsessive fashion, his tiny hands clutching Shmee.

Outside his window came a sound.

A tiny scratching noise, barely audible.

But he heard it. He knew it was there.

"What do you think it is Shmee?..."

The noise got louder.

Whatever it was had to be stumbling around something _awful_ to make such a racket.

Suddenly Todd's window exploded into shards of glass as a tiny form fell through it.

He buried himself deeper in his blankets.

He could hear it, scraping it's feet across the floor as it drew nearer.

"'scuse me, could you help me?"

Todd lowered his blanket a bit to get a better look at what had come into his new room.

A little girl?

No. If she was she was badly disfigured.

She was much smaller than a regular girl but her legs seemed longer than normal.

He couldn't get a good look at her in the dark, but he was fairly certain she was scary...

Squee let forth his trademark sound as he scooched back on his bed so to avoid the girl.

"Shmee, there's a creepy tiny girl in my room! Try and be quiet, if we're lucky she'll think we're already dead and only kill us a little bit!"

"Uhm. Please help?"

Todd's eyes widened.

She had stepped even closer, and now the light from the hallway shined on her.

It wasn't a little girl. It was terrifying.

Sure, she SORT OF looked like a little girl, but more like a toy.

Rather than legs, scythe-like appendages shot out from her lower body.

There was a hole in the middle of her dress through which a circular scar could be seen.

Most disconcerting, though, was her eyes.

She had none. There were gaping holes surrounded in dried blood.

The room suddenly seemed colder.

"... I'm Todd."

"Oh. Right. Hello there. I'm Sickness. Do you think you could help me?"

"I dunno. How do you see without your eyes?" He looked away nervously.

"Probably because I'm a sick delusion. Who's that?" she pointed at Shmee.

(A/N: There was originally something about abortions here.)

"That's Shmee. He's my friend." Todd got an itty bitty smile as he said this.

A sinister look took over her face. "Really now? Can I be his friend too?"

"He says that you're evil. Sorry. He says that sort of thing a lot. And that I should be scared."

"Scared? Of what?"

Todd's eyes widened as he glanced nervously out his window. "Everything."

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Dammit, I'm running out of ideas and I still have like 700 words to go...

A strange little boy walked down the street, chewing his bubbly gum.

Suddenly a pair of freakish chef children jumped out in front of him.

"I'm gonna kill you, mmkay?" said one of them.

"Mmkay." said Gum Boy.

The murderous chef child dumped Mountain Dew all over Gum Boy.

Gum Boy, having a severe caffeine contact allergy, fell to the ground.

He writhed madly on the concrete while trying to get the greenish liquid off of himself.

"OH GOD, NOOO!" he screeched as his eyes were reduced to liquid.

Soon his flesh started to turn into a runny paste as his cells were invaded with the carbonated energy imbued in Mountain Dew drink beverages.

The chef children giggled as he screamed in his final throes of death.

Yay for his death.

(A/N: Okay, I'ma just cut this slightly short, I can't put anything else in this chapter. )

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AND THE TROGDOR COMES IN THE NIGHT!

AaaaAAAAaannyway.

Turned out better then I expected it to. Dollars for the deprived fools who've read enough of my stuff to understand the kitten reference.

As far as Sam's outfit... that's basically how I originally imagined him. Tall and noodley like Waldo.

... if you know of any decent het SP fics with Kenny heavily involved please tell me. I've only been able to find two and they didn't have lemons... MY GOD I LOVE KENNY. ,.dies.,


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